#i spent so long on this. probably too long

[joelsdagger]

‘tis the season || one shot

joel miller x f!reader

nothing new. nothing exciting. just some pwp. major shout out to my very freaky girl @dinandwhiskey, this fic was born due to our 4am conversations about fucking Our Old Man on viagra. and to my fellow ocean unicorn @joeloverture, for the encouragement, always. and to @pedrospatch, for being my eyes, and my biggest cheerleader, you have my heart. anyway – merry christmas eve eve & happy holidays ya filthy animals. may 2025 be ever so kind to you <33

pairing: dbf!joel x reader summary: you’re back in town for christmas, and it’s been months since you’ve seen your boyfriend, joel miller. and he decides to make the most of the brief window of time you have together.  or,  joel fucks you after taking viagra. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ warnings: [no-outbreak au], implied age gap [no mention of ages but reader is in college], secret established long distance relationship [that’s a mouth full] [that’s what she said], drug use, joel miller on viagra is a beast, pet names [baby, darlin’, sweetheart, kiddo], sexualization of the terms kiddo & old man, [mocking] dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, daddy kink, brief mentions of smut that occurs off page [i.e: face-sitting, fingering, anal play, ass eating, a reach around handjob, f! & m! receiving oral], softdom!joel, unprotected piv, missionary, mating press, overstimulation [rip our girl she’s fighting for her life], dacryphilia, finger sucking, biting, smidge of a pain kink, creampie, squirting, joel fucks you while you’re on the phone with your father, mentions of christmas, (2) christmas puns [author apologizes in advance for said puns], probably [most likely] inaccurate and unrealistic descriptions to the effects of viagra [remember, this is fiction!!], omitting a few tags as to avoid spoilers!!, aaaaand lastly, they’re in love BYE! word count: 3.5k

masterlist || ao3 || follow @joelsdaggerupdates for notifs on when i post my writing!

“Just one more time, sweetheart.”

You don’t respond, tongue-tied. The agonizingly slow drag of his cock inside you is too much, your mind is a blur. 

Joel’s been fucking you for hours. He’s made you come six times since you practically pranced through his front door. Twice on his face, once on his fingers, and three times on his cock. And now you’re overstimulated — cunt swollen and almost begging for relief — but Joel, driven by your high-pitched moans and strained whimpers, is unable to stop himself, working to make you come just one more fucking time.

It’s thanks to that stupid little blue pill his buddy slipped him that he’d been able to fuck you for this long. 

In truth, he doesn’t need it. He never needs it. He fucks you perfectly fine without it. But you’re home for the holidays, and you haven’t seen him or come successfully on your own since the beginning of the fall term, and Joel wanted to take advantage of that.

Send you back fucked so full o’me you’ll feel me in here for weeks, he’d groaned. 

Your drippy hole stretched out and clamped tight around the thick girth of him. It had been so long, your face contorted at the sharp sting, and a pained hiss escaped through his gritted teeth when he pushed the delicious fat tip of his cock past your puffy folds, splitting you in two. 

The warm walls of your cunt pulse around his shaft, your clit throbs against the wet thatch of thick hairs stippled gray at his base. You’re too sensitive, too tender, cunt stinging with every long stroke, but not in the way it makes you want to use your safe word. 

It’s just that Joel hasn’t let up. Two hours spent making you come and he hasn’t let up once. The only time he had given you some semblance of a break was when he got up, turned around, and sat on your face at your plea — your desire to show him how good he had made you feel all those times before. 

His cock in your hand, weak fist tugging away at his length while you lathed away at the tight little hole in the crease between his ass cheeks. Even then, Joel couldn't help himself; shoved three thick fingers into your puffy pussy — timing the thrust of them to the desperate pumps of your joint fists — jacking his cock in unison while you writhed beneath him, pulling another climax from you. 

Only when his sweaty thighs quivered around your body, chin tilted towards the ceiling and a stream of profanities poured from his lips, his body curling over yours as hot spurts of his cum painted your soft tummy when he felt your finger slipping past his puckered rim to the knuckle, had he given you a break. 

“Attagirl, just like that. Pretty little pussy’s gonna cum all over me. C’mon, baby, give it to me,” Joel’s voice is thick with arousal as he rambles above you, his hips expertly rolling into yours, head of his cock nudging that place incompetent college boys have failed to reach. 

“Joel—fuck—I don’t think I can—” You gasp frantically, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, arms wound tight around him.

He smirks with another deliberate roll of his hips. “Thought you said you could keep up. Isn’t that what you said? “Naw, I reckon you said, Try keeping up, old man, wasn’t that it?”  He mocks, imitating your words from earlier. Fucking bastard. 

A whimpering mess, your eyes pinch shut in response. 

“I can’t—” you croak, fingernails digging into his shoulders. 

Deft hands brush your hair back from your face. “You can. I know you can, baby.”  His voice softer, barely audible through the wet smack of his balls, smeared in the evidence of your earlier release, firmly slapping against the curve of your ass. The sounds obscenely echoing through the quiet of his bedroom. 

You whimper and try fruitlessly to nod. He knows you can, and he’s right. Your hips wouldn’t be grinding up off the mattress to meet his thrusts. You wouldn’t be feeling something roiling low in your belly.

“One more time, baby. Give me one more n’ I’ll let this sore little pussy rest,” he whispers, lips kissing away your salty tears. 

You nod eagerly. His hand reaches up to the headboard, fingers curling around it and locking into place, his other removes one of yours from his shoulder, pins it to the pillow above your head. And with his hand clasping your damp palm, fingers squeezing then interlocking with yours, he fucks you harder. 

The change in pace has tears spilling from your eyes and pooling into the shells of your ears. The wave swells, swells, swells —

Your phone screen lights up the dark room, buzzing on Joel’s nightstand. 

You freeze, neck craning in the direction of the vibration, eyes squinting and damp lashes fluttering at the bright screen, Dad, it reads. 

Shit. 

You gaze back up at Joel, wide-eyed, panic surging in your chest. Joel growls. “Don’t answer.” 

You don’t listen. You know your father, he’ll keep calling until you answer. Without saying another word, your hand comes up to the wooden surface in search of your phone. You take a few deep breaths, trying to quell the anxious heat swirling inside you, unplug your phone from the charger, slide a shaky thumb across the screen, and press the phone to the shell of your ear.

“Hey—” You clear your throat awkwardly, “Hey, Dad,” your voice breathy, tired.

You unstick your body from Joel’s, your free hand presses to his strong chest, a silent effort to halt his movements.

“Kid! I’m sorry to call you this late, but before you left for Eve’s, I forgot to let you know to be home in time for breakfast.” 

Jesus. That could’ve been a text. 

You sit up, scoot back into the pillows, while Joel sits back on his knees, wincing in unison as his cum-drenched cock slips out of your overflowing slit. Almost instantly, you feel a steady stream of his spend trickle out of your opening. He’d already managed to fill you to the brim three times tonight.

You fiddle with your bottom lip. “Breakfast? I thought we were just doing dinner.”

“Well, I thought since you’re only in town for a few days, we could go the whole nine yards. I missed our breakfasts together. I enjoy them, kid,” he says softly. 

Your bleary eyes flick back to Joel. The smug grin that graces his lips and the gleam of something darker in his eyes don’t put you at ease. He’s up to something, as always. 

You grumble, massaging your forehead. “Yeah, sure, Dad. I’ll be home by nine. Listen, I gotta—” 

“Oh! Speakin’ of dinner, I was thinking of inviting Joel over,” your dad says, plainly.  

Your heart stutters. “Joel? W-Why?”

The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches, dark eyes glimmer with mischief. Two heavy hands find your waist, and he’s sliding you back down towards him. Slow and suspicious, one of his hands finds your knee, and presses it flush to the mattress. You both watch as his other hand cups the back of your other knee, pushing it back down to match the other, exposing you to the sex-tainted air. With his eyes transfixed on the slow trickle of his spend, his hand then wraps around the base of his cock, tip lining up with your aching hole. 

There it is. 

“Poor guy has been asking about you, kid.” And Joel glides the head of his cock up and down your puffy seam, collecting your mixed juices on his tip then taps the heavy weight of it on your perked clit twice in quick succession; Joel smirks at the wet smack. You jolt, thighs attempting to clamp shut, his firm grip on your knee tightens, keeping you open for him. 

You pinch your eyes closed and curse under your breath. 

“What was that, honey?” 

Your eyes snap open, and you scramble to recover, “N-nothing, I just–” You clear your throat again. “Sorry. What were you saying, Dad?”

Joel chuckles lowly as he leans forward on top of you, pressing his broad frame in on you, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist. Chest to chest, belly to belly, pelvis to pelvis, tacky skin against tacky skin, once again as before. He tucks his face into the crook of your neck, and with his mouth at your other ear, his tongue darts out to lick at the salty droplet there before suckling ever so slightly on your flesh, you bite back a moan. 

Your dad, oblivious to your current state, continues, “Oh— Joel’s been asking after you. Think he’s getting sick of your old man if I’m honest. He keeps telling me he misses having you around, always goin’ on about how you’ve grown up right before his eyes…”

He can hear him. You know he can by the feel of the corner of his mouth curling up into a grin, teeth grazing your carotid now. He lifts his head, dark gaze meeting yours while his massive hands cup your tits, caressing, squeezing, kneading, while muttering, Goddamn have you grown up. 

Your cunt flutters around nothing, and you sigh into the phone; your dad doesn’t hear it through his rambling. You don’t register what he’s chatting away about because then, Joel’s nose nuzzles into your neck, traces a line up, up, up until his tongue snakes out and meets the curve of your earlobe. Licks the meat of it into his mouth and takes it between his teeth, your whimper cuts off into a moan when the bite turns sharp.  

His fingers fiddle with your nipples. “Naughty little thing,” Joel taunts, warmth of his breath fanning across the hinge of your jaw, “You liked that?” 

You keen and nod, his hand dips south between your bodies, wrapping around the base of his length, notches the too-wide cockhead at your too-small hole. You turn your head, pressing your mouth to the scruff of his beard, muffling the whine he elicits from you. 

Joel pushes inside, takes a moment, and just to mess with you — he fucks his tip in and out of your drooling hole in small pulses — once, twice, thrice — teasing you, making you moan. He tilts his head, nosing your cheek, breath hot and voice deep, “Listen,” he commands.

Absentmindedly, you tilt your phone away from your ear, away from your dad’s mumblings. You strain your ears to obey him. In and out, in and out. The squelch of your sticky wet reverberates  against the four walls of his bedroom as the blunt head of his cock moves in and out. 

In. And out.  

“Fuck,” you mutter, eyes flitting down to watch his cock impale you. 

Your dad’s voice cuts in through the fog, redrawing your attention.

“Sweetie? You okay? What’s wrong?” 

Your eyes widen. Shit. “I’m–I’m–fine, I– I j-just stubbed my toe. Dad, I really can’t t–” You stammer, and Joel chuckles lowly. 

Your stuttering emboldens him, taking it as an invitation to torture you further, and with his lips against your ear, a breathy moan escapes from his lips as Joel feeds you his cock, slowly working himself back into your spent cunt. So painfully slow that he ensures you feel every ridge and every vein, and in turn, he feels every inch of your warm, velvet walls sucking him in as he eases himself into you. Used cunt clamped tight around him as you welcome him back in — inch by torturous inch. 

He stills once he reaches resistance, and you bite your bottom lip hard enough that you taste copper, suppressing the moan climbing up your chest as his tip knocks your cervix, heavy balls pressed flush to your ass — finally bottoming out inside you.

He ruts into you once, tip bumps your cervix again — goading you, and you gasp in return, fingernails indenting his shoulder, half–moon crescents marking his skin. Beads of sweat roll off his forehead and onto your face, mixing with the warm tears now cascading down your face, and your tongue darts out to taste it. The flavor of him — his sweat, his musk — only feeds the dizzying blur that is your mind. But through the foggy haze and the lewd, wet slap of flesh against flesh, you think you can hear your dad saying, You really need to quit the habit of walking around in the dark, kiddo.

And you think you’re nodding, an endless litany of, yes, yeah–yeah slipping past your lips, as you rush your way through the phone call with your father, uncaring. Only interested in the shifts of Joel’s hips, slowly fucking into you in measured thrusts.

Joel tuts. “Such a dirty fuckin’ girl, gettin’ off while speakin’ to her daddy.” And your grip in his hair tightens, walls tensing in response. “Attagirl, keep squeezin’ me like that. You gonna show me just how naughty you are for me, hm? Gonna let me have it with him on the phone? Gonna cream all over my cock, naughty girl?”

You nod your head numbly, mouth dry and unable to speak with the tip of his cock prodding at the soft spot inside you on every languid stroke, hips swaying back and forth.

The wave begins to crest, and despite your eager nodding at Joel only a second prior, there’s no way in hell you’re really going to come on your boyfriend’s cock — your dad’s best friend — while on the phone with your father. 

Your voice claws its way up your throat, “D-dad, I’m — mmm — sorry I really have to g–”​ You think your thumb presses the red button, but your phone slips from your hand, dropping to the carpet with a muffled thump, and it’s too late to check if you’ve fully hung up on him, and frankly, you’re too consumed by your lover to care. 

Grinning with pride, Joel pulls back, cock halfway out of your pussy and your hands grasp at his shoulders. 

“Joel— f-fuck–please,” you beg, your resolve melting. 

He clicks his tongue. “Na-uh, try again.” 

“D-d-daddy–please,” you whine. 

“D-d-daddy,” he mocks above you. “Say it, pretty girl.” He knows, but he wants to hear you say it. 

“Harder. Please, daddy–I–I wanna come, please, I wanna come,” you mewl, voice all whiny and petulant.

He says nothing. Without pulling out of you, his long fingers wrap around to grip the backs of your knees, pinning your thighs to your chest, knees to your shoulders, feet dangling in the air beside his beautiful head, folding you in half. Then, he moves to plant his feet flat on the mattress, propping himself up, hands on your thighs to steady himself. 

You’re already a mewling, writhing mess underneath him as he fucks in and out of your wasted cunt — it doesn’t take much longer for you to get there. The air fills with sounds of the headboard hammering against the wall and filthy, sloppy sounds of where you two are connected as he bashes into you with arrant primal vigor.

The new angle has him hitting a point inside you, deeper than you ever thought to exist. And still — the wave doesn’t break. With his eyes locked on yours, you know he can tell. He can always tell. He’s made you scream his name enough times since the beginning of your many clandestine meetings last summer to know when you’re teetering on the edge. In need of more. 

And for a moment, you think you can see it in him. Hazel eyes practically glint against the pale moonlight that spills into his bedroom. Joel bares his teeth in a cocky grin, his hand releases one of your thighs to cup your face, thumb parting your plush lips when he says, give it to me, kiddo, soak your old man’s cock. 

Oh fuck. 

Your eyelids flutter shut, your head falling back onto the pillows, hands clutching and pulling at tufts of his grizzled curls. Lips closing around his thumb wedged in your mouth; licking, sucking, biting into his flesh, as the crest finally breaks and washes over you, taking you under the rogue waves.  

But Joel still doesn’t let up. One more time, my ass. 

He’s insatiable. And he shows you just how insatiable he is when his thumb slips from your spit-smeared lips and reaches between your bodies, the pads of his fingers expertly thrum at your sensitive clit.

Your face twinges up at the intense, almost painful pressure as he pinches your clit between his index and middle fingers, hard. The swing of his hips speeds up, cock relentlessly beating your sore cunt. The sight of his girth, disappearing and reappearing as he pounds your pussy at a punishing pace, and his fingers twisting your swollen clit has your belly pulling taut and snapping within the same beat. With a broken shout of his name, you gush around the root of his cock, dripping down his balls. It’s warm and sticky when it seeps down, past your tight ring of muscle, soaking his blue sheets and turning them the shade of charcoal gray. 

Joel coaxes you through your seventh–eighth toe-curling orgasm of the night. An endless stream of sweet nothings spills from him — good girl, that’s it, kiddo. I know, I know, it’s so much, I know – fuck– such a good fuckin’ girl, as he fucks you through it. 

Your sloppy cunt clenches around him, and with his cock choked tight, deep within your bruised walls, he follows soon after. Growls raggedly as he unravels, and his own orgasm rolls through him, decking the hall of your weeping cunt with warm, milky ropes of cum for the fourth time tonight. 

Joel collapses onto your sticky chest, placing open-mouthed kisses to your dampened face — your cheek, your nose, your forehead, while he pumps you full of his seed, abiding by his promise. And when he’s done, his sweaty forehead drops to yours for a moment. The waves now a steady ripple through your body as you come down.

After a moment, he lifts his head, and in retaliation for giving you what was possibly the best fuck of your life while on the phone with your father and nearly exposing your tryst, you bring one of his hands to your face, hollow your cheeks, and suck his thumb while looking up at him with wide and falsely innocent eyes. 

He licks his lips but manages to pry his post-coital eyes away. Instead, his cum-soaked cock slips out of your tired, leaking cunt. When he leans back, you swallow a moan, catching sight of the aftermath of your many arousals in his pubic hair. Graying curls swimming in a pool of your combined releases that drips down his thighs. A thin strand of your shared pearlescent spend shines in the soft moonlight, stretching from his balls to your folds, still connecting the two of you as he pulls away. 

Joel misses it, something else pulls his attention. His gaze shifts to the clock beside your head. A hint of a smirk passes over his lips. 

“You’re lucky it’s Christmas, darlin’,” voice low, dangerous. 

Your head snaps in the same direction. It’s past midnight. You smirk in turn and pull the comforter up to hide it.

You feel him shift over you, elbow popping loudly as he reaches for what he’s looking for before he moves to sit up beside you, back against the headboard. His hand pulls the comforter back down from your face, and you roll over and sit up on your knees to face him. 

His other palm opens, wordlessly presenting you with a single twig of some plant. One with moss green, teardrop–shaped leaves and plump, round berries, waxy and opaque in color.  

Mistletoe.

You take the meat of your bottom lip between your teeth, stifling a laugh that threatens to bubble through you. Because of fucking course he would. 

Though, the soft laugh is short-lived. His broad hand waves the mistletoe over him, but not where it should be. Your gaze follows the movement of his hand, and your mouth falls agape. Your eyes snap back up to Joel’s, and his wicked smirk broadens.

Joel Miller — naked as the day he was born and splayed on top of his messy sheets — dangles the mistletoe over his length, still hard as a rock and stirring in his other hand.

But it doesn’t stop there. 

Beneath the mistletoe rests a lump of bright red and velvety felt; a fluffy white cuff rounds the brim, and a matching fuzzy white bobble hangs at the end of it. 

A Santa hat perched jauntily on his cock.

You shut your mouth and swallow thickly, already feeling that familiar ache at the apex of your thighs, and you clench around emptiness, a stream of his seed dribbling out of your overstuffed cunt and further soiling his bedding. 

“But it ain’t a Merry one till you give Santa's big sack a few kisses.”

[kamitv]

▷ Holiday Headcanons

Synopsis . Things your jjk partner does during the holidays! / Pairings . (Separate) Gojo x f!reader, Geto x f!reader, Toji x f!reader, Sukuna x f!reader, Ino x f!reader, Yuki x f!reader, Shoko x f!reader, Choso x f!reader, Nanami x f!reader / Content . afab!reader, established relationships, modern au, fluff, creampies, soft sex, rough sex, filth, breeding, bondage, choking, oral sex, praise, dirty talk, sfw content, etc . / wc . idk ngl...!

A/N: Merry Christmas Ladies & Gentlemen! This isn’t proofread so please excuse any errors. Thank you guys sm for 7k on this account!! I hope you all have a wonderful day/night!! <33 [MDNI]

❅ Gojo Satoru

NSFW

Who's first present to you comes early in the morning at the ass crack of dawn, consisting of his warm breath caressing the shell of your ear as he rasps a needy plead—aching to get a taste of you to start his Christmas off "properly."

Naturally, you let Gojo get what he wants since that’s one less gift you have to worry about. That, and it’s a gift that just keeps on giving because as soon as he’s settled in between your legs, he’s smiling from ear to ear and swallowing down the drool that threatens to spill past his eager lips.

And when he finally latches that heavenly mouth of his onto you? Oh it’s over. He’s so glad he woke up early for this because nothing could pull him away from the honeyed slick of your cunt at this very moment—not even the perfectly wrapped presents awaiting the two of you just out in your shared living room.

Part of what has him so feral once his tongue is on you is probably the lacy festive blue panties you decided to sleep with. They match his eyes and there’s this pretty bow in the center… unfortunately, he was too caught up on trying to get your pussy against his tongue to admire the fabric longer. Now the garment lays in tatters just a few inches away from your quivering legs that dangle so prettily over his shoulders.

SFW

Had a snowball fight with you seconds after the first speck of white came falling from the sky.

Who spent weeks making sure that every inch of your shared home was adorned in pretty festive decorations.

Has literally bought you all that you couldn't think of and more for the special day. Gift after gift awaits you in that overly decorated living room of yours.

Adores this day and season because he has another excuse to spoil the fuck out of you. It’s no big deal that he bought you a vacation home or two… right? And the three vehicles he purchased were only necessary since you’d mentioned how much you liked them one time (around six months ago or something—not that he kept track or anything…) as the model drove by…

❅ Geto Suguru

NSFW

With Suguru, it’s actually you who’s extra freaky around Christmas. Sure, you love the festivities and everything but what/who do you love even more than that? Your husband. Or, more specifically, the thick cock he gifts you with all year long.

How could you not spend Christmas night with Geto’s dick sliding in and out of your mouth—having told him some measly excuse about how the mistletoe is hanging in the back of your throat this year and there’s only one way to share a kiss beneath it properly..!

Your glossy eyes remain up on his darkened purple ones and he looks so fucking grateful to have you. Geto stands with parted lips and bated breath as he watches you use that slutty mouth of yours to worship every inch of his pretty cock. You’ve got drool and spit dripping all down your chin but you don’t seem to have a care in the world. Hell, you probably don’t even have a thought in that cockdrunk head of yours right now either.

Geto even tries to pull himself out of your mouth (so he can catch a small break) only for you to let off a needy whine of his name and chase after him—latching your lips and tongue onto his oh-so-sensitive drooling tip just to suckle on him like you can’t function properly without his cock resting against your lips (and hey, maybe you can’t).

SFW

Impresses your parents on Christmas day flawlessly with the most perfect gifts for them (he unintentionally outdoes your gifts).

Spoils you like crazy with more than just gifts by being at your beck and call a bit more than usual. He’s always attentive but on Christmas he seems to he even moreso than normal.

Who lets you style his hair however you want with ribbons and bows while actively wearing a poorly made Christmas sweater the two of you made the year prior to the current.

Loves playing Christmas themed games with you because they remind him of playing games with Satoru (who occasionally joins the two of you around this time). You’re just as competitive as he is and even the most simple games turn into full on competitive events between the two of you.

❅ Toji Fushiguro

NSFW

It’s not until Christmas night that you get your real present from Mr. Fushiguro, your doting husband of God knows how many years now.

Watching you care and love on Megumi and Tsumiki all day was just the push he needed to later want to fuck yet another child into that gorgeous body of yours.

It started off as him being all soft with you, giving you that big bear hug from behind as he murmured into your ear—asking you if you enjoyed this year’s Christmas ‘n whatnot… only to lead to him casually suggesting that you two make the family a bit larger. Later rasping into your ear again, this time while you’re folded into a mind-numbing mating press, about how it’s time to give you your last present of the day.

His cock is throbbing more than normal too, whole body tense with a coarse mix of lust and love that he has for you. Oh how he could never truly get over the sight of you all under him like this with your eyes flickering back, nails clawing against his skin, and sweet softened moans of his name spilling from your lips.

It’s not long before the headboard is making not-so-subtle taps against the wall as he loses himself within the warm gushing depths of your cunt, fat cockhead only swelling more and more when you have the gall to utter the words, “Y-Yeah.. hnngh, fuck another b-baby into me, Toji,” And who ever is he to deny you of such a request?

SFW

Spends most of the day trying to bite back his smile as he watched his two kids open presents you bought for them. Their eyes light up with each gift and Toji’s poor heart only flutters with that uncomfortable warmth of love he can never quite get used to.

Keeps his best poker face on when Tsumiki and Megumi give him a gift. Toji tries to act like the little family drawing the two kids made doesn’t mean anything to him, going as far as laughing at how wonky the artwork is and everything but… the drawing is stuck onto the fridge the very second after the kids turn their head away from him and if anyone paid close enough attention to the big softie—they would’ve spotted his eyes glossing over ever so slightly.

You always get him the best gifts. Or at least, that’s what Toji tells you. Whether it be cologne or simply just a plate of Christmas breakfast in the morning—the man swears his wife outdoes herself every year. What would he do without you?

Doesn’t care too much for the snow but seeing you build snowmen and make snow-angels with his kids will always make him stand out in the crisp cold air for moments longer than he normally ever would. Usually with a hot cup of coffee in his hand, standing all mysteriously and brooding by the front door of your shared home as he watches you three run around and make fools of yourself—anyone who looks at him at the right second would catch a little grin quirking against those scared lips of his.

❅ Sukuna Ryomen

NSFW

As soon as the clock strikes twelve and Christmas has hit, he’s grabbing every red ribbon of fabric in the vicinity and wrapping his most important present (you) up to his liking.

Sukuna just loves seeing you tied up, especially on Christmas Day. One year he had your arms box-tied at your arched back as your cheeks were buried down into the sheets and his rough tattooed hands scaled along each exposed sliver of your skin. You were, quite literally, his prettiest present every year.

Sometimes you surprised him and tied yourself up in a new way—the sight never once failing to make his cock spring up. Oh and when he fucks you while you’re all tied up? He loses his mind every single time. Which is part of why he doesn’t do this all year long.

Christmas is the only day of the year where he really goes above and beyond with the whole bondage thing. Truth be told, seeing your fingers wiggle for touch and your body twitching for a moment of release as he fucks you to tears is one of his biggest and sole weaknesses in the world. It’s so sexy—especially with the cries of his name that follows along with the pleasing for him to let you touch his body.

Oh, and don’t even get him started on the way you always try wiggling away from him while your limbs are bound, no matter the position. The face you make, the way your cunt spasms—you do it every single time you’re about to cum for the nth time and it drives him fucking insane. Suddenly he can’t help but bully his angry cock into that sensitive sappy spot inside you that you’re so desperately trying to pull away from…

SFW

Definitely dresses up as the Grinch just to terrorize his child nephew, Yuji—who he knows you adore more than anything.

Yeah, you thought it was odd when you woke up on Christmas morning and your husband was nowhere to be found but when you made your way downstairs alongside a five or six year old Yuji to get the morning started… here comes your husband dressed in that iconic furred green suit and red coat—invoking a shriek from the poor boy beside you as he watched his uncle snatch up all the presents from beneath the Christmas tree.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or scold the man in the moment but either way, the event was memorable nonetheless. In Sukuna’s mind, nothing will ever beat the widening of your eyes and the dramatics that brat beside you displayed over some toys being snatched up.

He’ll never ever say it out loud to anyone aside from you but, he actually quite enjoys Christmas. Or, he has enjoyed it ever since you made him watch The Grinch—hence his antics surrounding the character. Hell, his first comment about that movie was something along the lines of, “Hah. I like the way this guy thinks already.”

Mind you, you were barely even half an hour in.

❅ Ino Takuma

NSFW

On Christmas, it’s just you and him this year so… after all the literal gifts have been opened and all the sweet things have been exchanged……. Ino’s offering his body to you entirely.

Mid-day, you swear you left him in your bedroom for hardly even five minutes only to return to his legs sprawled apart and his hard cock exposed & decorated with a cute bow wrapped around his hefty base. Then his hands are tied behind his back—part of you wondering how he even managed to do that in such a short period of time..

His brown hair is all tousled and his breathing is unsteady already. You’ve seen and felt every inch of him time and time before but offering himself ip to you like this was oh so embarrassing for the poor man. The instant your eyes fall onto his cock, his tip leaks in a messy slip of pre.

Ino can only take a deep breath and try to work up his confidence just to weigh his head to the side and lift a brow, “Well, baby? Merry Christmas. Come unwrap your final present…”

SFW

Ino loves going out with you durning the holiday season. Especially ice skating—even if you’re good or bad at it, he loves being out there on the ice with you.

Something about laughing in the cold until your cheeks burn makes his heart throb within his chest. Ino loves spending this season with you because he swears every small moment feels like a movie when he’s with you.

He definitely still leaves out cookies and milk for Santa and will debate with you for hours on end about how the guy is 100% real.

Goes, “Aww, babbyyyyy..” to literally each and every single gift you give him, soon followed by a sweet, “You didn’t have to get this for mee..!” He’s not ungrateful or anything but, even though you’re his girlfriend of like two years now, he’ll never quite get used to receiving gifts from you & he’s too damn humble for his own good.

❅ Yuki Tsukumo

NSFW

You make the ‘mistake’ of gifting her a strap for Christmas and she makes good use of it that same night.

Practically every position you can imagine & be stretched into—she’s got you in. You always knew your girlfriend had some mean hips on her but when she’s got this lengthy cock strapped onto those hips and she just working the thick ‘n hard inches of the plastic inside you at a brutal pace, you can’t even breathe properly enough to respond to her little comments of, “Aw, look at my girll… takin’ all of me so well, aren’t you pretty?”

Teasing you too with huffs of, “This is the best gift ever, cutie. I mean, hah..” She’d flash that knowing sexy grin of hers, “Jus’ look at this pussy—I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this wet before.”

You’re not too sure if you regret the purchase or if it’s the best thing you’ve ever bought for the woman but either way; in return for buying her that damn strap, Yuki gifts you with the meanest backshots not too long after opening her gift. She’s gotta make sure it works, right?

Hand around your throat, tipping your head back, lustful eye contact, heavy pants of your name, and praises pouring from her blush pink lips—Yuki’s probably never letting this gift go to waste.

SFW

She’s competitive so around this time of year, any winter spot imaginable… you’re playing or participating in with her (and probably losing).

Who loves making snow angels with you and then comparing the sized of the two, making fun of yours even if it were only the slightest bit smaller than her own.

Goes on these insane morning runs with shorts on ‘n everything. You find her bizarre for it and almost died the one time she’d convinced you to go on one with her.

Both of you would definitely give each other the same number of gifts literally every year. It’s always unintentional and completely coincidental but for whatever reason, if you got ten gifts: she got ten. If she got thirty, you got thirty. Even if you got one, she somehow got one as well. It’s silly but it keeps happening and both of you assume it’s the world’s way of telling you you’re perfect for one another.

❅ Shoko Ieiri

NSFW

Ties a bow around her middle and ring finger and gives you this smirk that leads to literally everything else.

It’d be after gifts have been opened and stories have been shared that she’s out by the fireplace with you, knuckle deep in your cunt as your sweet slick trickles down her slender fingers and coats the fabric she has around her digits.

Who doesn’t ever get tired of fingering you and never ever fails to amaze you because somehow her hands never seem to cramp up on her (or maybe that’s just from the years she spent with you but who knows..).

Once she’s satisfied with getting you off numerous times, Shoko will tell you that there’s another bow she wants you to find. That’s how you end up in between her pretty legs, tugging a lacey red bow that was tired around her upper thigh down her leg. And from there, it’s only fair that you enjoy your Christmas dessert that’s presented so deliciously in front of you—especially when she takes those two fingers from earlier and spreads herself open for you. The drool from her cunt matches the drool from your lips—how cute.

SFW

Building snowmen with you is something she cant get enough of. Especially considering the time you both built one another and you’d given her a small stick to resemble the cigarette she’s always got lodged in between her lips.

Who loves going to new cafes with you around this time for whatever reason. Something about the cold just makes her want to try all sorts of different warm beverages and who better to go try these things with than her loving wife?

Goes on a Christmas movie marathon with you because your presence during movies alone is enough to make her heart flutter.

You got her a pack of cigarettes one year as a joke but she actually appreciated it more than you realized. This was earlier on in your relationship and that gift was part of what motivated her to want to quit smoking (well, that & she’d like to live by your side for as long as possible).

❅ Choso Kamo

NSFW

Fucking his cum into you for a few hours is as good as any other gift he’s given you, right? Especially after seeing how you are around his brothers—so kind and doting, you’d make the perfect mother.

Hence the incoherent mutters of Choso wanting you to have his child later that night. All you did was give him the lovestruck look when he suggested it and it was over from there. He couldn’t stop himself from bending you in all sorts of positions, angling his hips into you perfecting and moaning about how desperately he needs you to take everything he gives you.

Who can’t even think straight when you look him in the eyes and praise him for how good he’s funking you—not that this is new or anything… But then you started teasing him. “C’mon Cho, r-right there. Gimme one more, fuck me nice ‘n full—mmgh..” Oh, you were sure to be the cause of his death that night.

He sees white by the time he cums again, something he’ll later tease you about with a stupidly unserious comment of, “Guess we really did have a white Christmas after all, huh?”

SFW

It’s winter so whenever you two walk together, he takes your hand, holds it tightly, and then pulls it into his pocket as the two of you walk together.

Who kinda adores the snow and cold weather for the simple fact that it hides how much he blushes around you and gives him a new excuse to use.

Loves seeing the happy look on your fave when you open presents, it makes him fall for you even harder and all he wants to do is provide the whole world and more just to keep that expression on your face.

Spends most of the holiday with his brothers and majority of his paychecks around this time are blown on providing gifts for his siblings—many purchases made without even so much as a price check beforehand.

❅ Nanami Kento

NSFW

Cooking Christmas dinner ends up with you either bent over the counter or spread out on top of the counter every year. Nanami basically calls it tradition at this point. He just has to have you instead of focusing on finishing the meal set for Christmas day.

And what makes it so much better is that Nanami also uses this time to reveal how much he’s into food play. The man can’t help but want to lick some sort of frosting or cream (aside from his own) up off of your soft skin. Swearing everything tastes better when it’s eaten off of you.

Or, sometimes Nanami claims that pistoning his sharp hips into you while you’re bent over the counter helps him focus on reading the recipe to whatever he’s making. Apparently your moans keep him focused on the task at hand (literally) and each clench of your cunt around his thick shaft make his senses sharper (his words not mine…).

That, and there’s nothing more fun than leaving a cliche powdered handprint on the fat of your ass after a couple smacks in between his rough thrusts. You find his ability to multitask insane. He’s fucking your legs to complete mush and yet baking a cake at the same time like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Not to mention the way he’ll have you suck a taste test off of his fingers just to hear you moan out a stuttered response of how good it tastes.

SFW

Nanami is the best gift giver, naturally. Okay, yeah, you mentioned this item once as you were describing to him a dream you had like three years ago before the two of you were even together but who caresss, right? It’s not his fault he has such a sharp memory and has hung off of your every word for as long as he’s known you…

One thing your husband loves to do around this time is slow dance with you to some classical Christmas music. It feels sappy and sweet—swaying with the love of his life as joyful steady music flitters within the air.

He definitely cannot wait to have children with you because he sees the way your face lights up as you watch children durning the holidays. Their laughter is so pure and really brings the Christmas spirit into the hearts of anyone nearby.

Who doesn’t go crazy with decorations or anything but he will have one absurdly large tree with a ridiculous number of ornaments just because.

[werevampiwolf]

Yeah. At 19, I was finally diagnosed with autism and as unable to live independently without years of occupational therapy and my mother said "fuck that" and threw me out of the house two days later. She'd fought the doctors my entire life to stopbe from being diagnosed, because then that would mean there was something "wrong" with me.

I was homeless for over a year. I'm no longer homeless, mostly due to getting very very lucky with circumstances outside my control (like the fact that I was young enough and had been homeless long enough while continuing to take classes at the local community college to qualify for a government grant for Unaccompanied Homeless Youth, which allowed me to get an apartment. And i was only able to take classes because I was poor enough that the classes were free, and because i had a broken laptop and it never got stolen AND i already knew how to fix computers so I was about to Franken-Computer it into it being and staying at least slightly usable AND the fact that the nearest Starbucks was understanding and didn't throw me out or call the cops when I spent hours in there to do coursework), so my mother takes this as a win. Obviously, the doctor must have been wrong because when I was forced to sink or swim, I've stayed alive (very literally in this case).

I would argue that even now, going on a decade later, I'm not so much "living on my own" as I am "barely surviving", but I try to make it very clear, both to her and to people I tell this story to, that the problem with "Sink or Swim" is that people who sink fucking DROWN.

Because even as someone who was forced, and who managed to just barely keep my head above the water... I'm a very staunch opponent to the idea of Sink or Swim. What I had to live through was horrible, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But not only that, I was very acutely aware that my only options were to figure it out or to quite literally Die.

As someone who survived the extreme of the other side of this coin that OP is talking about... the idea that I or anyone else could manage to survive such circumstances and then turn around and insist that the ends justify the means is both baffling and appalling to me, though I know that it very much happens. I cannot see it as anything other than "I suffered, so you should have to suffer too." It's awful to be on either side of this coin, and if you think it's okay for force people to Sink or Swim, whether you've been in that situation or not, than you can fuck right off with that shit.

Side note, I'm someone with support needs on the higher end of medium. I still can't manage to brush my teeth independently, and I don't manage to feed myself consistently, though I at least manage to do it often enough to get enough calories in me to stay alive (and that's ignoring anything other than calories that make up a healthy and balanced diet, because that's not an option for me. It's eat whatever junk food I manage to get into my my mouth or starve). I have to rely on schedules, because my brain doesn't really understand what hunger feels like. I just eventually feel like I'm going to throw up, and if I'm lucky, my brain figures out that I haven't eaten in all day and that's probably why. But there are days when, even if you put a plate of food in front of me, it wouldn't occur to me to eat it. I will just sit there and stare at it (or into space) without outside promoting to eat. I maybe manage to take out the trash or do laundry every two weeks if I lucky, and sometimes it's only once a month, or less. I have plastic bottles that haven't been taken out in at least six months, and probably closer to a year. Perhaps the only reason I can see the other side of this coin is because I basically live as close to edge as is physically possible without going over the edge, but I really hope that's not it. I don't think people should have to be constantly teetering on the knife-edge of this reality to understand that It's Really Fucking Bad to force people to Sink or Swim, or as I prefer to call it, Survive Or Die.

I don’t think people understand how it is to have been behind on EVERY milestone. Learning how to walk? Late. Learning to read? Late. Learning to use the bathroom independently? Late. Every single milestone was late.

And when you have this, people ask questions. People bully you. Why can’t you shower by yourself at 9,10,15,20? Why can’t you brush your teeth independently and frequently? Why can’t you tie your shoes? Why can’t you do math? Why can’t you do this, or that.

And then there’s the people on social media. “Well I was forced to.” “Well I didn’t have a choice” and that’s understandable and completely valid, but there are people that no matter how much you force them, or neglect them so they “figure it out” they won’t “figure it out”. They’ll die. They’ll starve. They’ll not bathe and be dirty.

Higher support needs people don’t just “figure it out” our brains are wired differently. Our brains don’t get that we HAVE to do these things just to survive. So we don’t. And that sucks.

It’s disheartening to constantly hear people say “well i was forced to” because so was I!! I was forced to do things too! I was neglected too! And guess what? I still didn’t do those things. I STILL wasn’t able to meet those milestones.

The big one that I see is “well I’m forced to talk.” And I get that, but me, a person that’s nonverbal, can’t be forced to talk. No matter if I’m neglected, no matter if my device is taken away or I have no way of communication. I still wouldn’t be able to talk. I CANNOT force myself to talk. Get that through your heads. This is my reality, and although yours sucked there are still some people who cannot do things, and saying that they could if they were “forced” is invalidating of them.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Ngl I really enjoyed Via’s arc in Sinsmas. She is just SO MUCH like her father that it both delights and hurts me lol.

Their relationship is an interesting take on struggling to try to break the cycle of abuse/neglect.

Stolas grew up with his father not even knowing his name or showing him a shred of affection. He was a means to an end, a tool. The only way he’s ever received any kind of acknowledgement from his father is by doing his duty. Mastering his powers, entering into an arranged marriage, and producing an heir.

You can just so clearly see how he is trying SO HARD to give Via a different life. He wants them to be a family. For her to never doubt her parents love her. To be the father he never had.

To the point he shoves his own wants and needs so far down that he is barely holding on.

Via going from accusing him of not loving her to realizing that he loves her so much that he forced himself to play the role of a good father and husband. To the point he destroyed himself for her…

And that realization just devastates her.

Stolas getting involved with Blitz was the culmination of decades of forcing himself to be the person everyone else expected him to be. He feels he can’t be loved, but he can be useful. And maybe if he’s useful enough, people will care about him.

The reason his connection with Blitz is so strong is because both of them feel that way. The difference is that Blitz was able to create his own found family (tho it took him ages to realize it lol) while Stolas has always been alone. They’re two sides of the same coin. And while Blitz has spent the past few years healing, Stolas has been descending further into darkness because he doesn’t have that same support.

Via has absorbed so many of his insecurities. Especially the fear of not being loved or wanted despite Stolas trying SO HARD to be the perfect father to her. But he’s not. He can never be because he forgot the old adage of “put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.”

I think that definitely can come across as him being neglectful of her. But to me it speaks to his desperation to be such a good father to her that he tries to hold himself to IMPOSSIBLE standards.

He doesn’t fail Via because he doesn’t care. He fails her because he keeps setting up these unrealistic expectations for their relationship. He massively overextends himself and puts his own wants and desires on the back burner so often that his life is imploding around him out of his control.

He doesn’t miss the stars with her because he doesn’t care. He misses them because he’s struggling to put his life back together after finally taking some initiative for himself. He’s trying to deal with the fallout of wanting a divorce from Stella, but he’s waited so long and he’s so overwhelmed by it all that the date slips his mind. And the instant he realizes what’s happened, he drops everything and goes looking for her.

Via keeps watching him make these promises he struggles with or fails to keep and doesn’t realize until she finds all of the happy pills how much he’s overextended himself for her sake. And because she’s her father’s daughter, she immediately thinks she’s at fault. She thinks he would be happier if he hadn’t forced himself to play house all these years for her sake.

She’s not wrong. If he’d separated from Stella years before, they’d probably all be better off. But he didn’t because of his sense of duty. Stolas’s problem is that he never advocates for himself until he reaches his literal breaking point. By then, the damage is more of a tsunami than a ripple because now his meticulously crafted house of cards is falling down around him faster than he can pick up the pieces.

Via is right that he would have been happier, but not for the reasons she thinks. He did it because he loved her, not out of obligation for her. And also because he is deeply broken and flawed.

Via’s dealing with a lot of complicated emotions too. Her father was willing to sacrifice himself for his affair partner, which she initially believes means he’s picking Blitz over her. But really it’s just Stolas trying to save the only other person in his life who understands him and who maybe cares about him.

How could he live with himself if he let Blitz die?

And it’s not like Stolas has time to sit down and think of a rational plan. He rushes to the trial because Blitz is literally about to be decapitated. And then he saves him the only way he knows how. I think part of him was also convinced that, as much as he loves Via, she might actually be better off without him because he is a wreck. He’s convinced he’s ruined his life and the lives of everyone around him.

I think this is why he doesn’t fight Stella much for custody of Via. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he genuinely thinks Stella is a more stable parent than he is and that Via will be better off with her as a result. The man also lacks a backbone too tho because his self worth is -9000.

But then Stolas doesn’t get executed. And the consequences of his actions hit him like a ton of bricks once the adrenaline and panic wears off. He saved Blitz, but at what cost? And, based on his statement in Sinsmas, it sounds like he would’ve done it all over again if given the chance. Because he’s the one who let Blitz use his grimoire even though he knew it was wrong. Because Blitz was in danger of dying because of him. And because he has a very strong sense of morality and justice too.

Dying in Blitzo’s place was a spur of the moment decision and once the dust cleared, Stolas realized how everything he’s tried to do to keep his shit together has fallen apart at the seams and now everyone knows it.

All Via can see when she looks at him now is that he’s hit rock bottom because of her. Again, not true. But Stolas has tried so hard to give her this idyllic family life, thinking that was the best thing he could do for her. Not realizing that she could see the cracks forming. She just didn’t understand why there were cracks until now.

I don’t think Via actually hates him. I think she hates herself. Convinced she’s the reason he’s hit rock bottom. Why couldn’t she see how much he was suffering? Why would he suffer so much for her? So she’s taking herself out of the equation, just like he tried to with Blitz. If she’s not in his life anymore, maybe he’ll stop killing himself to try to make her happy. Maybe he’ll stop being so miserable.

I think a big part of their arc together has been her going from thinking of Stolas as this perfect and larger than life figure to seeing him start to crumble and now getting a peek behind the curtain and realizing how much of that wasn’t real. And it scares and upsets her that her dad isn’t the perfect person he’s tried to be for her. He’s broken and hurting and she doesn’t know what to do to help because he’s spent her whole life focusing on her.

Not to say that he’s done that well. He genuinely hasn’t. He’s overcorrected so hard that he’s fucked her up in a completely different way because he’s overextended himself. He pushed himself until the illusion of a perfect happy family cracked along with him. He’s also made it difficult for her to know how to help him because he’s sheltered her so much.

I think this sometimes makes Stolas come across as selfish. He seemingly “ruined” his marriage and his relationship with his daughter for Blitz. But really it was just the pendulum swinging wildly in the opposite direction. He was so starved for happiness and connection that now he’s trying to live two separate lives and it’s just not possible and he’s falling apart even faster.

Stolas was so desperate for affection and to be of use that he lets Blitz have his grimoire, under the impression Blitz is attracted to him because Blitz literally tried to seduce him to get it. He also does all of the dirty talk because he thinks Blitz likes it.

I think he initially sets the terms for the grimoire usage because he thinks it’s a price Blitz is more than willing to pay because he showed up trying to seduce him. I think he l also just really wants an excuse to see/spend time with Blitz too. It doesn’t even cross his mind that Blitz might want anything other than sex from him. He’s once again playing a role based on what he thinks is expected of him.

It’s not until Stolas discovers he’s starting to develop feelings for Blitz that he realizes their arrangement is wrong. And the moment he realizes it, he immediately tries to make amends. He hopes Blitz will admit he has feelings for him too, but is willing to step away if not. But he also cares about him so much, he makes sure to give him the Asmodean Crystal so he can freely make the choice.

Meanwhile he has no idea Blitz will just view this as another person trying to abandon him or look down on him. Because Blitz struggles with self worth too and believes the only way people will care about him is if he can be useful. Blitz has a deep seated fear of abandonment while Stolas fears no one could ever love him just for himself. He offers Blitz the crystal to let him know his feelings are genuine and to gauge Blitz’s too.

All of this is to say that I think Via and Stolas will reconcile, hopefully sooner rather than later. I think Via needs some time to process who her father actually is vs who she thought he was. And both of them need to be able to forgive themselves/grant themselves some grace so they can finally meet each other in the middle like Stolas has finally managed with Blitz. Stolas needs to accept Via is grown up now and he can’t shield her from the negatives of the world forever. Meanwhile Via needs to understand everything doesn’t have to be so black and white.

[2crtz]

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ TEMPTATIONS, DESIRES, AND IMPULSE.

CHARACTERS: capitano x f!readers

WARNINGS: mdni. arranged marriage. virgin reader. breast fondling. capitano has a big dick. probably ooc capitano. SYNOPSIS: after your recovery, you expected your relationship to change with your husband. however, it changed into something you could only dream of.

WORD COUNT:  2.830 A/N: i haven't written smut in so long so i hope i don't disappoint. this is part two. can be read as a standalone but i highly recommend reading part one.

Months have passed since the initial injury. Improvements have been made in your footing, yet not in your marriage. Capitano had been nothing but helpful during your recovery, but since healing, he's gone back to being distant.

You worried that you had said something wrong or been too demanding in your requests.

Maybe I've asked for an abundance of food or denied his company.

No matter the case, you prayed that things will be smooth sailing from there, but the gods did not answer you.

Capitano sat in his office most days, buried in work from the Tsarista. He never has a moments rest. Recently, he was sent off in Inazuma to aid a comrade whom lost an ancient relic. You have never seen a person's seething attitude fill up a room like his.

During his absents, you devoted your time in maintaining the garden, vigorously cleaning its stones and tending it with care. The garden became a safe haven, a place where you could run off to and soak in its beauty.

And when your husband came back from his travels, he headed straight to his office.

You never understood the allure of his office. Why did he choose it as his refuge instead of the comfort of his chambers? Lacking the courage to step foot into that space, its secrets remained a mystery.

────

Capitano looked out the grand window and viewed the meticulously tended garden. A stir of frustration flickered in him as he realized you have pushed yourself to keep the grounds beautiful, despite recovering.

Even if it had been months since the fall.

Yet, with a pained feeling in his heart, he found himself battling the tides of thoughts. Months have slipped passed-- months spent avoiding your presence, months where he sought refuge to his calloused, rough hands. Still, those vivid images of you lingered in his mind, taunting him.

Capitano considered himself a coward for succumbing to lustful thought of his wife. The flame of carnal desires coursed through his veins, causing it to be exceedingly difficult to maintain and keep his composure whenever he is near your being.

However, we he did find the courage, one look into those bright and pure eyes, his mind betrayed him and he found himself avoiding you once again.

It wasn't until a knock on his office door rang him out of his thoughts.

Never once have you shown a passing interest in Capitano's line of work, nor dared to interrupted him during his paper work. So why was this evening unlike any other?

As Capitano rose from his chair and opened the heavy wooden door, his eyes fell on you holding up a silver tray of dinner you prepared earlier.

Once realizing the time, he undoubtedly missed dinnertime.

Capitano side-stepped to allow you into his office and you took a long look around. It wasn't anything you expected.

Towering bookshelves reaching up to the heavens, a grand window that bathed the room in a soft light from the setting sun, and his desk sitting adjacent to the window, giving his access to view the garden.

You understood why he spent his time in here.

As you deliberated where to put his dinner, you noticed the lack of space on his desk from the overwhelming amount of papers. Noticing your trouble, Capitano silently collected his documents and neatly gathered them to one side to make room for you.

"You need not to trouble yourself with bringing my food here," Capitano eyes gazing upon the meal you have prepared. Not understanding why you went through the lengths, he could not suppress the appreciation sprouting within him.

"It is no problem at all." you replied softly, placing the tray down with care. It took every ounce of power within you to conceal the tremor in your tone, aching to reveal itself.

There you stood, in a delicate light blue nightgown barely reaching below your knees. A picture of a woman prepared for bed. And there, a familiar peak poked through the thin fabric, teasing and taunting Capitano once again.

He swallowed quietly, avoiding your gaze and instead looked down at his food. To him, you looked far more delicious than the meal. Your presence igniting a hunger he could not simply fill.

"Thank you."

In your head, that was your cue to leave, but when Capitano handed a piece of silverware, his unspoken invitation sent a flutter through your stomach.

For the first time, you were having dinner with your husband.

────

The grass felt soft beneath your fingertips. A blanket of feathers could not compare to how the garden comforted you. While you wished you could spend time with your husband here, he was simply too occupied with work.

Again, only a prayer would give you a smidge of hope.

A prayer indeed.

Your eyes grew heavy as the beaming sun hit the peaks of your face. A soft breath exhaled through your lips while your arms outstretched onto the soft ground.

"It is not clean for you to lay on the ground." A deep voice spoke above you.

Opening your eyes to a man whom never showed his face nor allowed himself to be vulnerable before others. There he was, bent down with his hands resting on his knees, your husband, was in the garden. With you.

The scene before you exposed a shock in your core, and in an instant, you shot upright sitting up in a sharp motion.

Noticing your sudden movement, a low chuckle erupted deep within his thick, metal armor.

The sound was an unfamiliar sound in your ears.

"Would you like company?" he asked.

Perhaps the heavens have heard your prayers, waiting until this moment. You have longed nothing more than to spend time with your husband, even if his heart remained distant and shown no affection or serenaded you with tender words.

You quickly nodded, a gentle, but faint, smile stretching your lips, and patted on the space beside you.

Silence hung in the air for a moment before Capitano decided to speak first, his tone laced with genuine curiosity. "You spend most of your time here. Why is that?" he held your gaze.

"I enjoy the sun." you replied. While his eyes remained hidden, you imagined the way they might look, perhaps softening as you answered.

"I cannot help but wonder why, out of all the time we have been married, you choose now to come into the gardens." you felt your body involuntarily moving closer to his. "Are the orders of the Tsaritsa too much to bear?"

Capitano took a moment before replying. "Since I am away most days, and soon will embark on another mission, I suppose I wanted a moment to escape from reality." He took a pregnant pause.

"I want you to be my reprieve from the demands of my work, my anchor." his tone had a humorous tone hidden, though he was being honest. "But before I place such a burden on you, I must get to know my wife."

A laugh escaped between your lips. It was sudden, but not unwanted. "It is strange how we are married but complete strangers."

"Life has other plans." Capitano looked off into the distance, onto the lush horizon. "Ones that betray our dreams."

There was something you've always wondered about your husband. What was underneath that helmet of his? Did he look like a troll? A disfigured man? Or a scarred, damaged face?

"If you don't mind me asking," Capitano's attention turned towards you. "may I know what you look like?" you asked.

Curiosity flickered in your eyes, a look so earnest that Capitano could not refuse. And slowly, he removed his steel helmet, revealing his face.

A soft gasp freed itself from your lips, eyes settling on his face. It was neither mangled nor deformed, but a strikingly beautiful one that was half in black. Could this be the rumors of the decay?

You've heard tales about the brave Capitano's face, but none prepared you for what sights you might see.

As if on command, you hand reached out to touch the void-like black decay that marred his visage. It felt like skin, but didn't all at once. Your eyes soaking in the image of his face, his skin, his eyes. A piercing, bright pale blue color glowing beside the darkness that engulfed him.

Only one word could muster out your lips. "Breathtaking."

Your touch igniting fire within Capitano, coursing through his veins, setting his entire being ablaze. He found himself vulnerable without his helmet, but could not help but lean into your touch for warmth.

A new sensation awoke in Capitano. So foreign, so raw it threated to consume him whole. One that can only be described as love. A feeling so intense it burn holes in his heart.

For the first time, after all this time his gaze stayed hidden, you could finally meet his eyes.

Like an impulse eating him alive, from how your gaze held his, Capitano felt his being leaning towards yours like a magnet, closing the distance, and capturing your lips with him.

You felt your heart beating out of the confines of your chest. The sudden kiss had your mind running laps, but once reality settled in, you could finally relax into the kiss.

His hand reached behind your head and gripped softly onto your hair. Capitano felt his groin on fire, attempting to break free from his trousers.

As the kiss became intense and heavy, he broke the kiss before it went further.

"Tell me when to stop and I'll stop." A string of saliva that connect you broke and you stared into his heavy-lidded eyes.

"Don't stop."

Those two words were enough for Capitano to gather you into his arms and walk into your shared chambers. It was the first time you've truly been in this room together, and in this moment, was the perfect time to break it in.

Your heart pounded more vigorously as he laid you onto the bed, his hands steady yet deliberate. His movements were agonizingly slow, each motion a taunt to tease you as he unbuttoned his shirt. With each button undone, more of his sculpted torso was reveal. An ache began to appear between your legs.

The black decay reached even below his neck, following down inside his trousers.

Capitano's shirt throw carelessly as he lowered back down to you, seizing your lips once again and his hands searching your body. Rough hands that squeezed each part of your body, acting as his anchor, resistance, before grabbing hold of your intimate parts.

What Capitano didn't know, was that you were impatient. Your hand collect his black hair and gripped it tightly, asking for more.

Once receiving your silent request, his hands reached up to your breasts where he felt your harden nipples. Ones whom taunted him were now in his hold.

With his free hand, he lifted your nightgown. There, your bare body was exposed beneath his eyes.

"You are truly," his lips connected of your bare stomach, then reaching up to your neck, until he finally reached your lips. "flawless." his pitch went down a decibel, still holding a sultry tone.

If that didn't cause you to die on the spot, nothing will. Not even a spear through the chest.

Your heart burst into millions of particles and still, you were growing impatient for his touch, needy for him.

While he littered your breast with kisses, a hard object pressed itself against your core, sending volts of electricity through your body. A soft moan escape from your lips.

"You like that?" his voice low and breathing spreading across your body like a wildfire.

You absolutely loved it. You wanted, no, needed more.

Understanding your silent response, he pressed himself harder onto you, causing you to shift in your spot. "Please," you pleaded quietly.

"Please what?"

"Please touch me. Please, Capitano." finding your voice was a difficult task, but you needed the touch only your husband could provide.

Hearing his name from your mouth started the gears in Capitano's head. His cock was begging to be freed. It craved to be sunk into you.

A guttural groan formed within his throat and he wanted nothing more but to please you. His hands fiddled with his pants, fumbling with the button before completely tearing them off his being.

Capitano was known for being a patient man, but it all dissipated within seconds.

When your eyes landed on his cock, his sized terrified you, intimating you. Nowhere in that innocent mind of yours could fathom the thought of his whole length fitting inside you.

"I'm sorry, darling, but I am being impatient." Capitano apologized before he touched you.

You didn't care. You wanted be touched by him and only him.

Before he could fuck you relentlessly, he needed to prepare you. The leather gloves were quickly removed from his hand and his fingers grazed your wet cunt.

You relaxed against his touch, enjoying the delicate movements of his digits. When inserted a finger, your teeth captured your lips. You've never experimented with yourself, not understanding what to do, however, you wish you had.

Euphoria had unleashed and your body reacted with Capitano's fingers.

It wasn't until the second finger stretched you out when you felt the pain course through you. It was a sudden shock that hastily turned into pleasure.

As Capitano deemed you ready, he retrieved his fingers, leaving you empty, but lined his cock straight to you. It started with his tip then he slowly slid in.

He watched the expression on your face, ready to pause when it becomes overwhelming for you. And it was. The foreign object forcing it's way into you caused a rippling feeling, too much for you to handle.

"Is it too much for you, my dear?" his eyes holding so many emotions within them-- worry, lust, and care. Your hands reached up to hold his head.

"I can handle it." you reassured him.

Capitano loved your touch, and without missing a beat, he began moving into you until his length disappear in you, bottoming out. His fantasies being buried in you were no longer dreams. Finally, they were reality.

Sweat coated his forehead as he thrusted slowly, pacing himself to ensure you were comfortable.

Your moans echoed throughout the room, reverberating against the walls and back into Capitano's ears. His appetite was not clenched yet. His pace picked up, his hips moving sloppy.

Warm arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down until his face was buried into the crook of your neck. His moans spread through the hollow of your collar.

The feeling of his cock rubbing every inch of your cunt had you mind in a daze. Your breathing labored, trying to find your breath as he took every ounce of air out your lungs.

"Capi-- Capitano!"

He finally found the sweet spot he'd been searching for. His arm picking your leg up to gain more access within you, picking up the pace until you become a disheveled mess.

Holding a tight grip around his hair, you couldn't allow him to free himself from you.

His nails dug deep into your flesh, anchoring you to stay in place as he pounded harder. "You are the definition of perfection," he spoke into your neck. "One only I can turn into a mess."

Your leg begun to shake from the building release. It was becoming too much. Your body was ready to fully shutdown, but you were too cock-drunk.

Feeling your body, Capitano was damn near to spilling his cum into you, filling you up.

"You're close." he felt it. You were tightening around him, suffocating him. "Come on, darling, let it all out."

Like on command, your body sputtered and shook, releasing all over him. Your breathing was heavy, working overtime to get a full breath of air.

Capitano spilt all in you, filling you to the brim with his cum. He rode out his high, leaving himself in you to watch your face.

Your face was one he could never forget. The image branded itself onto his memory, a scene he refuse to get over.

The sweat coating your face made you glow under the soft light from the window. Capitano noticed a tear running down your face. Not from sadness or pain, but pleasure.

His thumb ran across your cheek to wipe it.

Before he could utter a word, his body collapsed on yours.

You couldn't help but to laugh. It was soft, yet came from the chest. "You are something."

"I hope only good." his arms wrapped around your torso, holding you closer to his body.

"Far better than good." your looked straight into his eyes. "You are remarkable. Something I only see in my dreams."

Capitano smiled before lowering his head back down into your neck.

"You no longer have to dream, my dear. I am now your reality."

do not edit, modify, or republish.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 1

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1])

wow this is another difficult one to go through. okay. okay.

it's been 57 years since we saw agatha kill her mother and the salemites - agatha should now be around 74, 75. how many of those years has she spent with rio? even if they met right away, that is a comparatively short time considering their long lives (rio's especially) and the almost 300 years they stayed separated afterwards.

the first thing we notice about the scene: just how damn green it is.

the forest and the river - rio, nature, is everywhere.

we're not told why agatha is running, but the obvious answer is that she is running from rio. she's in her shift, she was probably in their bed in the little cabin in the woods going through labor. and then rio told her that nicky was going to be stillborn and, in typical agatha fashion, she bolted, she tried to buy time, to bargain, to outrun the inevitable. but nature is all around, engulfing her. trying to escape is futile.

I so appreciate how bloody this scene is but I can't watch it, it's too much. she's run as far as she could, but the baby is coming now. she bites on a lemon and pushes. no family, no coven, no midwife. the one person in her corner, rio, has betrayed her.

that shot of rio so small between the trees, and yet the same exact color as the leaves? both one tiny person and the very essence of nature everywhere? I've got chills.

rio has brought her orchid so you know how serious the situation is. and I believe the costume department called this a shepherdess outfit? she chose this gentle look to guide nicky's little innocent soul to the other side.

you need to look at plaza's acting closely in this scene because while agatha's pain is on full display, raw and open, rio is keeping her pain close to her chest, she has no other choice. she swallows, she shakes her head ever so slightly. agatha is shaking her head too, completely and utterly devastated.

Rio walks closer, strong determined steps that don't match how difficult she's finding it to speak. her face contracts with pain before she smooths it back in a neutral expression. she shrugs a little, so small and apologetic. remember how formidable she was with alice, how clear she made it look that there was no escape? she can't quite bring herself to do that here.

you know by now what it means when agatha clutches her chest like that. you've seen her poor heart.

she licks her lips, she straighten up, vicious, ready to go into battle, ready to bite and hurt and beg and do everything, everything in her power to save nicky. we get this scene at the very end, when we know agatha and rio and their dynamic so intimately, and it's so easy to read what's happening. agatha will never go down with dignity, she'll fight till her last breath.

rio gives the tiniest of nods, she takes a deep breath. she knows agatha so well, she didn't expect anything less. while agatha is all over the place, rio is so still. her eyes are huge, and there's one stubborn tear that she's not allowing to fall. this has always been their dynamic - agatha's pain is too overwhelming, it engulfs all, there's no containing it. rio has to be strong and wise for the two of them.

this is rio losing her wife and child in one tragic swoop. this is rio being cast as the villain that took nicky's life.

this is futile. we can't fight Death.

oh, but she will try. she's been trying since we've known her. since she killed that poor dog to see if wanda could do something about it.

Death makes her decision.

not only does the grim reaper refuses to reap a soul. for the first time in all of history, she actively uses her magic to stop someone from dying. it goes against everything she stands for, and it's ultimately useless, because not even the power of the greatest Green Witch can heal nicky, she can only delay the inevitable. but she does it anyway, because she loves agatha too much. even if she knows perfectly well that she's just lost her forever.

rio is apparently impassible, but look closer: her nostrils are flaring, her jaw is trembling. if rio can't kill, by logic she can't generate life either. not that she's not able to - she's not allowed to, because she needs to be impartial. because if she lets herself fall in love with someone, it might just happen that their child will be stillborn in 18th century nowhere, massachusetts and Death might not be able to be selfless and impartial about it.

and then bye bye, sacred balance.

who the fuck came up with this story? and made it about lesbians, too? was it you, jac? I don't know if I want to kiss you or scream at you.

agatha doesn't recognize the world-shattering decision, the unprecedented sacrifice rio has just made for her. she can only think about nicky. how much time has she won? a day? a month? ten years? not knowing is torture.

and look, this is agatha, selfish to her very core. but can you blame her? can you feel anything but infinite pity and understanding for her at this moment? who is even to blame here? agatha, a mother begging for her child's life? rio going against every law and everything she believes in to give her beloveds one fleeting moment of reprieve?

there is no one to blame, not even nature - it has no concept of tragedy. (now that I think about it, agatha is the only person in history who could ever made nature feel.)

you did it, agatha, you made Death go away. you made your choice. it's you and nicky now.

oh god, kathryn, don't make that face. it's too much.

I spoke no spell, I said no incantation, you were made from scratch. the utter beauty that is agatha, the witch killer, the master of spells and craft, creating a baby (almost) the old fashioned way - the magic of life that no spell could ever improve.

this is agatha claiming nicky as hers. not rio's, only hers. she sought to have him for arguably selfish but deeply human reasons: because she needed to prove her mother wrong. because she wanted someone who would love her unquestioningly, unconditionally. because she was so, so lonely, and rio alone couldn't fill the chasm in her heart. she wanted her coven to grow from two to three, but looks like it's coven two again: her whole happiness is once again tied to only one person.

the little feetsies!

this shot, dear lord. green leaves and water taking over.

this entry was a lot. I need a hug.

[catcze]

I feel like Wrio would be a little nervous for his first Christmas with you because he’d be nervous if you’d like the present he got for you or not 🥺

He would !! The way he would have spent so long toiling over what to get you, too? He probably spent days upon days deciding what to get you <3

In hindsight, Wriothesley knows that it's a dumb thing to worry about. He knows that he's probably overthinking it, probably making a mountain out of a molehill.

It's just buying a gift, how hard could it be?

Turns out, when it's for you, buying a gift is very hard.

He doesn't even get why he's making this so difficult for himself. He knows what you like. He knows the things that make you smile, that make you laugh, that make you run up and embrace him from sheer glee. He knows all of these things, but the thing is, for this holiday season, he wants his gift to you to be special— he doesn't want it to be something that he would get you any other day of the year just because he could. This is your first time celebrating the holidays with you, and he wants it to be special.

And, when the day comes that you're excitedly staring at the gift he got you, he can feel the nerves crawling up his throat and his heart doing nervous backflips in his chest.

The gift he got you is a small thing— a palm sized box that he had wrapped all on his own. The wrapping is a little shoddy, a little imperfect and the paper a little crinkled and not as taut as it would have been if he had gotten it done professionally, but he wanted to do it himself. it only felt right.

You shake the box at first, gently and just a little, and Wriothesley can't help the small smile that forms on his face when you pout in disappointment, unable to hear anything from inside.

"You have to open it to find out what it is, sweetheart," he teases you good-naturedly, leaning forward to watch your reaction keenly, resting his chin on his palm as he tries his best to quell the growing worry bubbling in his stomach.

You roll your eyes in response, but you're smiling still, clearly excited for whatever it is he had gotten you. "It better not be some gag gift," you grumble to him, even though you know that Wriothesley wouldn't do that to you— he's too sincere for that. Too sweet.

You carefully unwrap the gift, only to be presented with a pretty white box with a logo emblazoned on the top. It's simple, yet elegant, and you recognize the name written on the box to be one of the most famous jewelers in the whole nation. One that's expensive and notoriously difficult to buy from.

In your chest, your heart rate picks up and there's a shock of disbelief in your system, followed by anticipation. Your jaw drops in surprise, eyes widening as you all but snap your neck to Wriothesley, who continues to watch you with rapt attention. "Well? You haven't opened it up yet," he prompts, eyes flicking down to the gift, the smirk on his face not betraying the way his heart is pounding and the way his mouth is dry from anxiety.

With utmost gentleness, you lift the lid of the box, and are presented with two rings, both fitted snugly in a velvet cushion, and your jaw snaps shut as you admire them with wide eyes.

Both bands are simple in nature, devoid of any extravagant gemstones or gaudy designs, made to look instead like vines weaving together on the finger. Made of white gold that's been polished to perfection, practically shining like a mirror in the lighting, there are small, understated diamonds inlaid between the vines, making the rings glitter.

"They're not engagement rings, so you don't have to worry just yet," comes Wriothesley's teasing— you hadn't even noticed his approach, too stunned by the simple and subtle beauty of the rings in your palm. With utmost gentleness, Wriothesley carefully plucks one of the rings out of the velvet cushion and takes your left hand, carefully slipping it onto your ring finger with near-reverence, and all you can do is watch, mouth agape as you still try to process the whole thing. The ring is a perfect fit, down to the centimeter. Crafted, you think, just for you.

"They're promise rings," he says, voice soft and near-fragile with his sincerity. Slowly, he grasps your hand with his own, and the ring twinkles prettily as he does so. Its pair continues to glimmer on the cushion in your hand. "Do you like it?" Wriothesley asks, soft, his eyes intently searching your face for any sort of reaction.

And honestly, you have to will yourself not to let tears gather in your lashes. Not to sob right then and there at the sincerity, at the sheer sweetness of this man with his hand in yours. Part of you wants to bury yourself in his chest and hold him and cry, because you genuinely don't think that you can take how caring he is. How thoughtful. How utterly devoted he is.

But you will yourself to keep your composure, though it takes every ounce of your will. With a hitching breath you carefully take the remaining ring out and take Wriothesley's own left hand. You're almost clumsy in your haste as you slip the ring onto his finger now, blinking back tears as you do so and trying your best not to make it obvious that you want to cry. Wriothesley mercifully doesn't say anything about your state, but instead you hear his breath hitch too as the ring slips onto his finger, as perfect in fit as yours had been.

You swallow heavily as you weave your hand with his, then, both your rings glinting in unison under the light. When you face Wriothesley, he's already watching you, something soft and sweet on his face, and you realize that you're not the only one who's about to cry.

"They're perfect," you murmur between the two of you, hand tightening around his, heart flipping and racing and practically imploding in your chest. When you speak, you're not only talking about the rings. "I really love them."

[slimybeth69]

"i'll be here."

rating: explicit- for drinking and joel's dirty thoughts. This is pure fluff NO SMUT and it's probably kinda corny but I DON'T CARE.

summary: Joel wants to make sure your New Years Eve isn't lonely.

tags: jackson!joel, Joel's POV, no use of y/n, no physical description (just an outfit) fluff, so much fluff, pining, age gap, him being handsome and perfect, mentions of food, drinking, being intoxicated so maybe dub-con (but not really)

w/c: ~3.6k

a/n: the holiday was hard as hell this year and it really didn't feel like christmas at all, so i wrote this for myself because i was sad. i hope any of you all that needed Joel to come and sing you songs and play gui-tar find some comfort in this.

thanks for @creepycorbeaux for reading this over. thanks to @thelastofgala for those beautiful gifs and thanks to @saradika-graphics for the dividers.

Joel wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing walking to your house with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and his guitar in the other, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what you had said last night on patrol. 

“Whaddya end up doin’ f’Christmas?” 

The face you make when you look over at him almost makes Joel smirk for a split second. The way your nose scrunches and the corners of your mouth turn down slightly. Like you’re confused and upset with him ,and all he did was ask you a simple question.

Then you respond, “Whachya mean?” 

Joel doesn’t know how to answer that because… what do you mean? Your eyes are still squinted— like there is some sort of distrust in your soul. Like Joel is playing a joke on you right now.

“Uh, well… Ellie and I went to Tommy and Maria’s...” Joel is uncomfortable suddenly; he forgets that not everyone is as lucky as he is to have family here in Jackson. He doesn’t know you nearly well enough, so now he feels like an ass. He shouldn’t be asking you anything like that.

Or anything at all not pertaining to patrol. 

You don’t say anything for a while, you just hold onto the strap of your rifle over your shoulder, and then adjust your grasp on the reins with your other hand. “I just stayed home,” you answer him quietly, almost like you don’t really want him to hear you. “Made myself a nice dinner, read a book and went to bed.” 

That ‘put your foot in your mouth’ feeling creeps into Joel’s stomach and he wants to ask if you’d like to give him a nice rocket to his left jaw. He doesn’t stay quiet for too long, he doesn’t want you sitting in this awkward smog he’s created. “That doesn’t sound t’bad, honestly. Whaddya make?” 

Joel watches you out of the corner of his eye as you once again adjust the reins in your hand, waiting for you to either respond to his question or tell him to shut the fuck up. 

He wishes you would tell him to screw off because he never tries to make small talk, and this is why! He always regrets it!

“Just a venison roast with veggies from the greenhouse.” You finally tell him with a little more life in your voice this time, like you were actually proud of what you cooked yourself. “What did you and Ellie do at Tommy and Maria’s?” 

“Had a few drinks, ate some food. Nothin’ crazy.”

Joel didn’t have the heart to tell you that Tommy and him spent most of the day drinking and reminiscing, laughing about being young, stupid kids. Or that Ellie and Maria baked all day, listening to Christmas music someone had found a while ago. He didn’t wanna subject you to all that, knowing now you were home alone.

Since that night on patrol, Joel can’t get the image of you sitting at home on a holiday all by yourself. 

Probably being sad. 

There isn’t any particular reason why he feels so compelled to come knock on your door, there are plenty of other lonely souls that spend every holiday with no one else around. 

There was just a pull. Something inside of him that said go go go. 

Go to her.

He doesn’t really even know what he’s going to say to you if you decide to open the door for him. Hell, he’s not sure you’re even going to let him in! You’ve only ever gone on two patrols together. Y’all never really talk outside of that, but that’s mostly because he doesn’t see you around.

Not like he’s looking for you, or anything. 

When he knocks, it’s like his heart might hammer right out of his chest. Why is he so nervous? He’s just here to offer you a couple drinks so you don’t have to ring in the new year all alone. 

Ellie was with Dina and the rest of her friends, Tommy and Maria wanted to call it an early night because of the baby, and so Joel had two options: the bar, or sitting at home alone. 

It’s not that Joel didn’t like being alone. He had been alone since Tess, and that was still something he didn’t like to think about too much.

Too much loss for not enough of — whatever they had been. Losing her had almost been the final nail in the coffin, and if it hadn’t been for Ellie -

Don’t think about it.

Now Joel finds himself on your front porch, holding the screen door open with his large frame, and knocking lightly with the ass end of the bottle of whiskey.

From inside he can hear you moving around. His breath hitches in his throat when you finally open up for him. Joel watches your eyes scan him very quickly, taking in the picture in front of you. Your eyes go wide for a second like you don’t understand why he’s here.

Joel Miller on your front porch with a bottle of whiskey and his guitar. 

“Whaddya doin’ here?” 

Joel holds the bottle up for you to inspect closer as you wrap your arms around yourself like you’re trying to hide from him. 

Joel’s never seen you without your winter jacket, hat and gloves. Right now in your house, you have on a blue sweater, a pair of tight elastic tights that Joel wishes he could see you in more often, and the warmest looking socks he has ever seen.

His eyes scan the length of your body again involuntarily. His gaze lingers on your pants once again– so tight and they hug your curves (that Joel didn’t even know you had) in all the right ways.  

“Well, I reckon I came over here hopin’ you had cooked another roast, since it sounded so damn good when you told me ‘bout it on patrol–”

Joel continues his bullshit rambles about why he came over here as you start to smirk, and take a step back so the door can swing open a little wider and he can make his way in.

“The guitar?” You ask as Joel toes off his boots so he doesn’t track snow through your house. He hands you the bottle of whiskey, shifting the guitar between his hands as he takes off his jacket. 

“Figur’d if you wanted to share any of the food you made– I could share the whiskey… maybe play a lil gui-tar for ya.”

The last time he played the guitar for anyone besides Ellie– Sarah was still alive. 

Who is this man?

There was just something about the way you said ‘I just stayed home’. Joel was thinkin’ maybe you didn’t read a book and go to bed. 

Maybe you cried a little, missing whatever you remember from home. 

Joel knows all about that, all about the sleepless nights when you just can’t turn your brain off. You can’t stop thinking about the people that are no more, about how different things are now and how you’d give anything for them to go back to the way they used to be. 

Joel has Ellie and Tommy. Who do you have?

“You’re in luck because I did cook tonight,” you’re smiling at him and he thinks this is the first time he’s ever seen you smile, too. 

So many firsts for Joel, he feels like a teenager as you lead him further into your house - which is clean and smells phenomenally good - and into the kitchen. 

Joel hadn’t expected you to actually offer him food, he didn’t know if you cooked dinners like that for yourself all the time, or only on special occasions. 

You take the guitar from him and pull out a chair at your kitchen table. For a moment he feels like his brain malfunctions and he’s not sure how to react. 

“You can sit,” You’re already in your living room. “I’m just gonna…” Then you trail off. 

When Joel peers around the corner to check on you, you’re very carefully leaning the guitar against the wall, holding your hands out to catch it in case it leans too far one way or the other.

Joel feels heat creeping up his chest and neck as he watches you, slightly bent at the waist. The tightness of your pants— 

Nope.

Once you’re satisfied that the guitar won’t fall, you turn around and smile at him, even though he’s just standing there watching you like an idiot– blushing!

Blushing?

Part of him thinks this was the worst idea he ever had. How could you be doing this to him and you’ve done absolutely nothing? 

He should go home. 

“Sit!” You urge him to take a seat at the table while you basically prance into the kitchen to start serving him a plate. Everything is still sitting on the stove in the pots you cooked in.

You explain that you already ate because you weren’t expecting company. 

Joel almost tells you not to worry about the food, but then what would he do? Play guitar for three hours? Getting drunk and talking all night seems like a terrible idea. 

What the fuck was he thinking? This was the dumbest thing he’s ever done, it really was. 

He shuts his mouth though when you set down a plate of steaming food in front of him. 

“Dig in! I have more than enough if you want a second plate.” 

The way you talk so casually, like you’ve known Joel your whole life while you walk back into the kitchen makes him jealous. 

How are you so nice? Sweet? 

You haven’t even been here for four months and this is the first time either of you have said more than ten words to each other that didn’t have to do with patrol. 

It’s the way your body moves when you walk without all your winter gear on. You sway… almost like you’re floating.

Knock it off, old man. She’s half your age. 

Joel has to squeeze his eyes shut for two seconds until he hears your feet padding back to the table. When he opens them, you’re pushing one of the glasses in his direction.

“You brought the booze, so you have to pour it.” 

The smile on your face makes Joel feel a mix of pride and guilt. 

What are you expecting of him? He can’t give you more than just tonight. He knows that, he hopes you know that too.

Joel opens the bottle and pours each of you a decent, sippable glass.He should have poured himself less. 

Probably should have poured you less.

The food tastes better than Joel’s had in years. He even finds himself asking for seconds, something he rarely does.

You’re making small talk as he eats, asking about his travels and how long he’s been in Jackson. If he likes it here, how old is his daughter.

Joel decides not to tell you that Ellie isn’t really his daughter, because biologically she isn’t, but it hasn’t felt that way in a long time.

As he eats, and you chat, Joel starts to relax a little. Your presence is calming, and he finds himself enjoying your company more than he thought he would. He pours both of you another drink, his regrets of pouring less last time completely forgotten.

The food is gone and you’ve cleared his plate. But the two of you are still sitting at the kitchen table. He’s not sure if it’s the fact that this is another first— seeing you up close like this. In the light of your kitchen Joel can really take in your features; your cheeks when you smile, and the way your eyes light up when you laugh at some dumb joke he tells.

You ask him about his life before the outbreak, and Joel hesitates before giving a very brief summary of his past. He doesn’t like talking about it all, and he avoids bringing Sarah up completely.

Not tonight. Probably not ever.

You listen attentively and ask Joel questions that show you’re actually interested in what he’s saying.

Joel continues to pour the two of your drinks each time your glasses are empty and you never tell him to stop. You suggest moving to the living room where it’s more comfortable, and Joel agrees without hesitation.

Go home. This is going to end badly.

There is a fire going in your fireplace, and Joel can’t sit down until he puts another log or two on, and he has to move some things around to get it going again.

“I can do it myself,” you say from directly behind him, sounding a little offended.

Joel doesn't even look at you when he responds, "I know you can. Just helpin'."

When he finally turns around, you quickly look away. Joel can’t help but smirk and feel that familiar in his lower belly.

Had you been staring at him?

Joel watches as you sink down into the brown leather couch, curling up with your feet underneath you. He settles beside you with just enough distance to be polite.

“What songs do ya’ know?” Your voice is soft and your words are slightly slurred. The alcohol has definitely started to affect you, but Joel doesn’t think you’re that drunk yet.

Joel looks at the clock on your wall and it reads 10:45 PM. He can do this. An hour and fifteen minutes left, then Joel can escape.

Not that he wants to. He has to or something bad is going to happen. Something he regrets. 

Something you might regret. 

But when you ask him about songs, he can’t help but smile. The alcohol is going down too easily, way too easy for both of you.

Joel clears his throat. "Whaddya wanna hear?"

You shrug, your cute blue sweater sliding off one shoulder. Joel has to fight himself to keep his eyes on your face as you mindlessly tug the sweater up. It’s like you didn’t even realize it happened. You kept your eyes on him the entire time.

"Somethin' that makes you happy."

The fact that you’re moving your feet to tuck your toes underneath Joel’s right thigh is sending electric shocks to his brain. He leans and grabs the guitar off the wall– careful to not move too much so he can keep the contact between the two of you. 

Shit. What is he getting himself into?

Joel holds the guitar, fingers tracing the old wooden curves. It's been a while since he's played at all. The strings feel ice cold under his calloused hands.

Joel strum a couple cords, “Know a few songs,” he says, clearing his throat. “Might be a lil rusty though,” he smirks at you and gives you a sideways glance. 

You smile from behind your whiskey glass and Joel feels something shift inside him. Something he hasn't felt in a long time. 

Something dangerous.

Your eyes are glittering in the firelight— different than they had looked in the artificial light of your kitchen. It casts a warm glow across your face, softening the edges that Joel has only ever seen sharp and alert on patrol.

He clears his throat once again and continues to move his fingers along the frets. The first few notes come out slightly off-key, but Joel quickly finds his rhythm. He starts with a Garth Brooks song.

Joel knows he’s not the best at the guitar and he doesn’t play it nearly as often now that Ellie is so busy with her own life. 

You don’t seem to mind, and sometimes Joel misses a chord or messes up completely because he can’t stop glancing over to watch you watching him.

He starts to sing, his voice low and gravelly. It's not a perfect voice - never was - but there's something raw and honest in the way the words tumble out.

… Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots And ruined your black tie affair The last one to know, the last one to show I was the last one you thought you'd see there

You shift slightly, your toes still tucked under his thigh, and Joel catches you watching his hands. Even as he continues to sing. You never take your eyes off of him. Not once.

… 'Cause I've got friends in low places Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away And I'll be OK Yeah, I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis Oh, I've got friends in low places

Joel's voice falters for a moment when he notices the concentration of your gaze. His fingers momentarily stagger on the guitar strings, creating a clashing note that lingers in the air for a moment before he continues.

You don't seem to notice, or care. Your eyes are locked on his hands, watching how they move across the guitar with a kind of reverence that makes Joel's breath catch. 

Joel finishes the song, letting the last chord ring out softly in the quiet room. For a moment, neither of you moves. You're still watching him, your eyes heavy-lidded from the whiskey, but there's something else there too.

Joel’s eyes fall on the clock on your wall and it’s only 11.

He’s completely fucked.

Joel becomes acutely aware of how close you are.

Your toes are still tucked under his leg, and the warmth of your body seeps through the denim of his jeans. Joel swallows hard, trying to ignore the way his heart is racing.

"Another song?" you ask, your voice soft and slightly husky from the whiskey.

Joel clears his throat. "Sure," he manages, repositioning the guitar.

Joel starts strumming again, this time a slower, more mournful tune. His fingers find the familiar chords of an old country ballad, something he used to play for Sarah when she was real little. Before the weight of being a single dad started to apply pressure.

The memories threaten to overtake him, but he forces them down, focusing instead on the way the light flickers across your face. He can feel the heat of your body against his leg, the whiskey making everything feel soft and blurry around the edges. His voice is lower now, almost a whisper, like he's singing just for you.

Joel sings a couple more songs, a few at your request.

"That was really good," you say softly, your eyes meeting his. There's something in your gaze that makes Joel shiver - it’s a weakness, a longing that mirrors something deep inside himself.

When he looks at the clock again it’s 12:30.

“We completely missed new years,” Joel points to the clock and chuckles. He had completely forgotten that’s why he came over here originally. Once the music started, everything else kind of faded away. 

It was just the two of you while the rest of Jackson, and possibly the rest of the world stopped existing in that short time. 

“I was havin’ a good time,” you’re still smiling at him and now he can see how glassy they are from the whiskey. 

“Y’look like y’were havin’ a good time, darlin’.” Joel smiles and starts to stand up from the couch. It’s not until he’s standing directly in front of you realize what’s happening, Joel watches your eyes shift and change. 

Are you panicking?

“Are… were–” you cut yourself off and shake your head, waving a hand at Joel dismissively. “Nevermind. Thank you for coming over.” When you turn to look at him, your eyes are rimmed with a glossy sheen. The whites of your eyes had turned a hazy shade of red.

“S’wrong?” 

You shrug your shoulders, your sweater falling off your shoulder again. You don’t notice and twirl your whiskey glass in your hand slowly. “Nothin’. I had a good time… just sad you gotta go.” 

Joel knows he shouldn’t, but he gently replaces your sweater, his fingers lingering on the warm skin of your collarbone for a moment before he pulls away. “I’m all outta songs, sweetheart.” 

“You don’t wanna stay?”

Joel swallows hard and then cuts you off, “For what?” Joel whispers it and you snap your head up to look at him, almost as astonished as he is. Joel knows that the liquor and the way you had been looking at him all night is a recipe for disaster. 

Make me leave, please. Kick me out. Don’t ask me to stay again because I won’t be able to say no.

You finish the last of your whiskey before setting your glass down on the coffee table in front of your couch. 

“You know what.” 

“I do… but we’ve been drinkin’... ‘n I don’t want ya’ regretti–”

“What is there to regret?” you whisper. Your hand snakes into his and Joel doesn’t pull his away or nothing. “You gotta know more songs.”

Joel sits down beside you again, sighing loudly like this is a giant inconvenience to him, but a part of him knows that this isn’t going to end–

Not at all. 

Once he takes you upstairs, it’s over for the both of you. It’s like he can taste it in the air. 

“One more,” Joel nods his head at you. “Then I’m leavin’.” 

He and you both know that’s not true. 

His fingers find their holds on the neck of the guitar and he looks over at you before he strums the first note. 

You shy away from him, tucking your toes back under his thigh. Joel lifts his leg slightly so you can slip them deeper under his leg. 

There's no stronger wind than the one that blows Down a lonesome railroad line No prettier sight than looking back On a town you left behind There is nothin' that's as real As your face that's on my mind

Joel changes the lyrics just a little, and he doesn’t know if you notice, or even if you know this song. He's not ready to sing about love, not at all.

He confidently sings you the next part though.

Close your eyes I'll be here in the morning Close your eyes I'll be here for a while

hopefully y'all had a better time than I did.

love you all so so much

[penkura]

Merry Christmas, Ace

Summary: You and Ace enjoy the morning of your first Christmas married.

Note: I hope you all enjoyed these Christmas themed fics! :) I'm taking a break until the new year, so I'll see you guys then! 💚 Small note warning for pregnancy but that's it. :)

Ace has this unfounded fear that one day, he’s going to wake up and you’ll be gone. He worries you’ll decide you don’t want to he with him anymore, too much emotional baggage and daddy issues with your husband to bother anymore, and you’ll just up and leave him someday. He knows it’s silly, you wouldn’t have married him if you were going to leave so easily, you’ve told him that before when he’s spoken this worry to you.

Still though, it’s always there when he wakes in the morning, even on Christmas when he sees you still fast asleep beside him, breathing a sigh of relief to see you. He stays and watches you sleep for a few minutes, still unable to believe this is real and you married him.

You’re really the best thing in his life, apart from his brothers of course.

On days like today, where he wakes before you, Ace will stay up and watch you sleep for a bit, sometimes he thinks you’ll wake up and be weirded out by it, but when he’s woken up to you do the same, or kissing his freckles to wake him, he thinks you probably don’t mind if he watches you for a few minutes. Especially so when you do wake up, seeing Ace wide awake, and giving him a sleepy smile that he returns before you throw an arm across his chest and bury your face in his neck, making him laugh.

“Good morning, [Y/N].”

“G’morning…” Smiling again, you place a kiss on Ace’s cheek, “Merry Christmas~”

“Merry Christmas, babe. Wanna get up and open gifts?”

“Mm…sure!”

You both still take a bit to get all together, it’s just the two of you this morning, Luffy and Sabo will come by later for the rest of the holiday and their own gifts from you. Its nice to have them come by often, for Ace to see his brothers whenever he can. Luffy and Sabo have already spent many nights in your house having sleepovers, they wants things to stay as normal as they can now that you two are married and you don’t mind when they stay over, so long as the three brothers aren’t loud.

Once you’ve gotten up and to your living room, though it’s not a lot, you and Ace go back and forth with the few gifts you’ve gotten each other. Its mostly clothing items you’ve both wanted and a few fun things like games, but it’s still nice to know you both pay attention to what the other wants or needs, you’re grateful that Ace pays attention to you.

“Well,” Ace sighs and brings you over to him, kissing the top of your head, “Guess we gotta clean up before Sabo and Luffy get here.”

“Mm-hm,” When Ace moves to get up, you stop him with a smile, “Actually…I have one more gift for you.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Ace is confused while you reach over the end of the couch, pulling out another rectangular box and passing it over to him once you sit back down. He’s not sure what you’ve done, but the label that reads ‘To: Daddy, From: Mommy’ makes his breath catch in his throat as he snaps his head over to you.

“Are…what…you’re—”

“You should open it, Ace.”

The grin you have while Ace looks from you to the gift and back with wide eyes makes his heart rate pick up, especially with the tears he can see forming in your eyes when he finally opens it. He starts to tear up too, seeing an ultrasound image, baby onesies,  and the positive pregnancy test in the box.

“Are, are you,” he’s trying so hard not to cry but Ace starts to pull you closer to him, bringing you into his lap, “Are you sure? You’re…you’re pregnant?”

“Mm-hm,” you wrap your arms around his neck and let Ace bury his face in your shoulder, you know he’s happy just in shock, “When I had the flu earlier this month and went to the doctor, he ran several tests to figure out what was making me so sick and, well, it was the flu but also our baby. I was going to wait for your birthday next week to tell you…but I just couldn’t anymore.”

You let him have the few minutes he needs to let the information settle, but once it does, Ace quickly stands up still holding you, and spins you just a bit with a laugh before setting you down. He takes your face in his hands, grinning away as he rubs his nose against yours before kissing you. Its unexpected, you’ve not even been married a year, but he’s just so happy.

“A baby! Our baby!! This is…this is the best gift ever!”

Ace hugs you tight while you let out a relieved breath, glad he’s happy about your pregnancy and that you’ll be parents in a few months. You know he’ll want to know more later, like your due date and anything your doctor told you, but for now, you’ll enjoy the happiness radiating off him as he holds you, and how you spend the rest of your morning lying on the couch with Ace wrapped around your middle, his head against your stomach as he tries to talk to your baby already, telling them he’s excited to meet them, how Luffy and Sabo will be happy too, and you’ll be the best mom ever, he’s sure of it.

You hug Ace close to you, kissing the top of his head and smiling away yourself.

“Merry Christmas, Ace.”

[ninikrumbs]

Christmas love

satoru gojo x reader. for all my girlies spending christmas alone. fluffy fluff fluff. idiots in love. established relationship. ᰍ ׅ ۫ . 🧣 ೀ

The smell of cinnamon and pine wafts through the air, as Satoru and you left the Christmas Market. His hand held yours inside his jacket pocket as you watch him talk animatedly beside you.

“I’m sure my plans can’t compare to yours,sweets!”

Satoru was just about at the end of telling you his plans for the rest of Christmas week; Babbling excitedly about his Christmas dinner with his family, a short ski trip with Suguru and Shoko on the 25th, and even a reunion dinner with some old high school friends.

It wasn’t a surprise to you, Satoru was social, friendly, abundantly popular, and the life of every party so of course everyone wanted him around.

You laugh as genuinely as you could before answering him, “Of course! I’m jam packed, I feel like Christmas caroling is the only thing I’m not doing this week.”

Lies. Well not completely, you did have a few dinners lined up with a couple of close friends, even a birthday party. The only thing was your were gonna spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day alone.

A good few of your friends were married so they spent Christmas with their families or spouses, some where taking out of the country trips and some were working on Christmas day. It was a bit depressing, you weren’t exactly expecting to spend Christmas alone.

But at least you had today, which was your date with Satoru to go around the Christmas Village. You had fun, with the dinner, the ice skating, the slow dancing under the mistletoe with Satoru stealing a kiss, and now holding hands as the both of you walked to his car under the cold winter air. It was perfect.

Satoru’s lips quirk up, “Hmm, maybe we should go caroling next year! Start a new tradition together!”

While it moves your heart to bits that he can see you still being together next year this early into your one month relationship, it still stung that you won’t be spending Christmas with him this year. You honestly thought he would ask you when he started talking about his plans a few days ago, but then he started asking about your amazing plans so you decided to fib.

This connection is new and delicate. You couldn’t ask him to drop his traditions and plans for you; plans that were made before you started dating, that was just selfish and knowing him, he probably would drop everything if he found out about your non existent plans. So you chose not too, it’ll be fine, you’ll be fine.

You playfully roll your eyes at him, “Sure, Toru. You can take some singing lessons while your at it!”

He holds a hand to his heart in offense, gasping so dramatically, “I’ll have you know that I have the voice of an angel!”

“Babe..” You clasp his free hand before exhaling, “Whoever told you that was lying.”

You made a run for it the moment the words left your lips, laughing against the icy breeze.

Barely getting 5 steps away, strong arms capture your waist from behind, lifting you off your feet. Damn his long legs. “Gotcha!”

He places you down for one second before throwing you on his shoulder and starts walking.

“Satoru, put me down!” You grasp the back of his jacket, terrified of falling onto the icy pavement.

“Nope.” He says popping the p.

“I’m gonna fall!”

“You won’t.” Reassuring you by tightening his grasp on your waist.

“At least hold me with two arms!”

“Your man is the strongest, sweets. I only need one arm to carry you.”

You snort before mumbling, “Show off..”

He slaps a hand to your butt making you jump, startled. “I heard that.”

“Good.” Which earned you another soft spank to your butt, “Satoru! stop that and put me down, people are staring.”

Though you were sure they staring at your gorgeous boyfriend.

“Not until you say that your boyfriend is the most handsome man in the world and has a voice can even bring the dead to life!”

He was absolutely ridiculous, “No way!”

“Then your gonna be up there indefinitely.” He was joking you were sure of it, but there was nothing wrong in indulging him sometimes.

“Fine, I give!”

“Yessss!” He whoops in victory.

“Can you at least put me down?” You ask meekly.

He huffs, smoky air puffing out, “So you can run away again? Not happening.”

“Wouldn’t you rather I say it your face?”You say trying to convince him which makes him hum, thinking about it.

After a moment, he gently places you back on your feet but not without pulling you flush to his chest, holding you steady.

You were a little bit dizzy from the change of position, but you could still see Satoru’s bright azure eyes staring at you expectantly.

Once again, he was absolutely ridiculous yet you gaze at him with such exasperated fondness.

You reach up and softly brush his snowy bangs away from his face, your touch creating a light blush to dust his cheeks. “My boyfriend is the most handsome man in the world.”

Its makes his eyes gleam and smug smile curve on his lips. He was so pretty, so where was the lie?

“And..” You breathe out heavily as if it took everything in you say the next few words, “He has a voice that can bring the dead back to life.”

He grins victoriously and leans down to press a peck on your nose the your lips which makes you melt, “See? that wasn’t too hard.”

“You’re lucky I love you.” You grumble but with no real spunk behind it.

He presses another soft kiss to your lips, eyes filled with so much warmth, “The luckiest.”

You were still pouting when Satoru started walking towards the car again. Your gaze landing at your intertwined hands, no longer in his pocket. Your eyes drop when the reminder that you were gonna spend Christmas away from him creeps in your mind once more.

It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.

—

“Yeah, yeah, I’m all packed.” Satoru grumbles.

Shoko was nagging him about packing correctly for their ski trip. Make sure to bring your actual ski’s idiot. Like he didn’t know that. He forgot that one time. Big deal. He could just buy another pair at the ski resort.

“Hey, Gojo. I’m kinda surprise that your coming with us this year or I at least thought you wouldn’t be coming alone.”

He sighs, throwing himself on his bed with mood dropping instantly. “I didn’t want to pull y/n from her plans.”

The fact that he wasn’t spending Christmas with her made him so depressed, he doubts he was gonna have fun on this ski trip.

He thinks he made a good job at hiding his displeasure from her. Not wanting to come off more childish that he already did. But damn it did he want to see her. The phone call from earlier was barely enough to have his fill of you..

“Huh? What plans?” Shoko’s confused voice rings from the phone.

“Y’know, dinner plans or was it a Christmas girls night with her friends that they planned a whole while ago.”

The line goes quiet for a while, “Satoru..No, she doesn’t.”

Satoru’s heart drops at the certainty on her voice, “What are you talking about?”

—

Familiar tunes of popular Christmas hits floats throughout your apartment along with the scent of newly baked gingerbread muffins cooling down on your kitchen counter.

You took as sip of your hot coco from your ugly Christmas mug as you admired the twinkling lights on your small festive tree. The sound of your fireplace crackling made everything feel more cozy.

Christmas was a holiday you always enjoyed. Especially the traditions that came with it: the pretty lights, the colorful gifts, the white snow covering the pavements and roofs, the Christmas gatherings and how everyone seems to be extra nice this time of year. Ever since you were a kid, Christmas was simply magical.

You didn’t mind spending Christmas alone. You already had the evening filled with plans on baking which you had just finished, reading, and binge watching some cheesy Christmas movies.

Still, you find your mind wandering, even the magic of the fluffy snow falling down your window pane couldn’t fend off the prickle of loneliness dripping down your heart. Not to mention snow only reminded you of a certain someone.

You let out a sad exhale before catching yourself. Shaking your head, you put you mug down your coffee table and proceeded to clap your palms on your cheeks.

It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. There’s always next year. You can be selfish then.

After pathetically comforting yourself, you sit on the sofa planning to start perusing the dozens of Christmas films on Netflix.

Hmm, The Holidate sounds interesting. Fun and quirky, something that’s not gonna make you bawl your eyes out. Perfect.

The that’s intro comes up on the screen, but a sudden hard knock on your door makes you click pause.

Who could that be? Did you order something? Its probably a neighbor who needs a wine opener.

You make your way to the door, the incessant knocking continues. “I’m coming. jeez.”

You swing the the door open. The sight that greets you makes you take a step back, your heart tumbling over itself.

There he is with his hands on his knees, gasping for air like he ran a marathon to get here. Sweat lines his forehead despite the cold air. He runs a hands through his white strands as he happily grins at you,.

“Satoru, what are you doing here?” You ask skeptically, “Shouldn’t you be on your way to your ski trip?”

You couldn’t let yourself hope that he was here for you, maybe he forgot something in your apartment.

Yet he proves you wrong when he stands up to his actual height. His face flush from the effort, closes the door behind him and tugs you flushed to his warm chest. Your senses fills with his scent and you melt. He smells like home.

He plants a soft kiss to you temple as he buries his hand in you hair, breathing you in, “You didn’t think I was gonna let you spend Christmas alone, did ya?”

Your eyes grew wide before tears start to prickle your eyelids, the gravity of spending Christmas alone somehow finally sunk in at his words, making you clasp his back in distress. You weren’t fine at all. “How did you know..?”

He lets out a breath and pulls back at bit to gaze into your eyes. “It doesn’t matter, what matters is why didn’t you tell me?”

You drop his gaze, not able to form the words. How could you tell him? That you didn’t wanna look so pathetic. That you didn’t make any plans in hindsight of wanting to spend Christmas with him. It was either a Christmas with him or no one at all.

A hand on your chin guides you back to look at him, his face so distraught it made your heart clench. “Baby, I wanted nothing more than to spend Christmas with you.”

“But your plans..”

“Fuck those plans! I don’t care about them. I wanted to cancel every single one of them just so I could spend Christmas week with you.” He cries out.

“What?”

A finger wipes a stray tear from your eyes before cupping your cheek. His starry eyes looks at you with worry and a shed of guilt, “If I made you feel like Id rather spend time with other people than my gorgeous girlfriend, then I’m doing a horrible job as your boyfriend.”

“No! It just-” Despite his assurances you still couldn’t wrap your head around it, “I couldn’t just make you drop your plans, Toru. I’d feel too bad about it.”

He caresses a thumb down your cheek in understanding, “I mean sure we could have eaten dinner with my family, but other than that I would’ve been much happier spending my week with you, pretty.”

You don’t know if you felt relieved or embarrassed. Relieved that he felt the same way or embarrassed that he found out about you non existent plans. Okay, you were both.

You cheeks heat up in embarrassment as you try to explain yourself, “I’m sorry, Toru.. Its just what we have- its just so new and I didn’t know how to go about it and..” You give resigned sigh, “I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Oh, baby.” He coos, pulling me back to his chest. “There’s no ruining this, that would be next to impossible, especially you. If there’s anyone who has a chance of ruining this, its me. You might get sick or too annoyed with me one of these days.”

He might be joking, but you could hear the insecurity lacing his words.

“No way!” You place a kiss on his chin. “That’s impossible.”

“I’m happy you think so, pretty.”

He pulls away once more and hangs his jacket on your coat rack. Then proceeds to lead you to your living room where you had everything set, from your Christmas decorations, your muffins, the tree, to the fireplace, and the paused movie.

“And to think you were gonna have such a cozy night without me, you must really hate me.”

You roll your eyes at him dramatics, “That’s far from the truth.”

He plops himself on the sofa that were filled with cozy Christmas themed pillows and thick blankets. The image made your stomach feel warm. He was here. Satoru was here. He came for you.

Like he always does.

You feel like an idiot for doubting him. He tilts his head at you just standing there. “Come here.”

And you do. Though before you could sit beside him, he pulls you down to his lap. Your back to his chest, “There you go. Right where you belong.”

You giggle, “There’s enough space for the both of us to sit, Toru.”

“Too much space if it makes you sit away from me.” He pouts childishly, tightening his arms around your waist.

“That’s just..” You shake your head with a fond smile. He nuzzles you neck for a good while, as if trying to make up for the time your weren’t in his arms.

“Sweets, I’m sorry” He murmurs against you neck after a while making you turn your head to look at him. “For what?”

“I should have been honest from the start..” His voice tinge with regret, “I wanted to beg you to cancel your plans from the beginning but I didn’t want to be selfish.”

You smile sheepishly at him, “Yet you wanted me to be selfish?”

He blinks, “Of course, your my girlfriend. I love you more than anything.” His voice was lace with so much unfiltered love, it made your eyes sting, “You come above everything else. I want you be selfish with me.”

You furrow your eyebrows, overwhelmed by his dedication, “Toru, that’s too much..”

He merely shakes his head, “Never too much. Not when it come to you. I hope you know that.”

You maneuver yourself in his lap so that your facing him. His sparkling blue eyes twinkling under the lights. He was so pretty it almost hurt. His mere existence overwhelmed you in the best way.

Cupping his face, you move in closer, “Then you should be selfish with me too. Don’t be scared to ask more of me, Toru.”

He stares at you, eyes tracing your face as if committing every feature to memory,

“God, I love you.” He breathes out as he pulls you by the neck and closes the gap between your lips.

Your toes curl as his lips molded with yours, your arms curls around his neck pulling him closer as he angled his head to deepen the kiss.

He groans against your lips as his tongue dances with yours and you could hear the sound of your lips echoing around the living room.

He tasted like candy and cinnamon. It made your head spin and heart pound a mile a minute , your hand crawled down touch his chest to feel his heart racing as fast as yours.

Its like he couldn’t get enough as he kissed you like a man starved again, again and again.

You didn’t want it to ever stop, but there was one more thing you needed to tell him.

You pull away with his lips chasing yours, eyes in a daze making you giggle, “Toru, before I forget.”

“What?” He says, bright blue eyes still focusing on your kiss bitten lips.

You pinch his nose, hoping to make him focus. “Merry Christmas, Toru.”

He blinks and scrunches his nose, a bit of clarity seeping into him as he smiles tenderly at you, “Merry Christmas, baby. On every list I ever sent. You’re the gift I love the best.”

Merry Christmas to everyone around the world!

[sleepyskeleton-0]

(Sorry u couldn’t help it ;-; )

get ace attorney'd

Merry Almost-Christmas!

(I appreciate the ace attorney meme, sadly I’ve never played the game 😔)

[suhnandmoon]

beat it!

chapter seven: written part below (750 words)

notes: its 1am the day this chapter comes out. i forgot that this was one of the written parts i had not prepared in advanced. tired…. not gonna bother to proof read

you couldn’t count the amount of stairs riki had just guided you up to get the both of you to the top of the astronomy tower. you were too caught up over how high up you were to notice riki’s stiff posture as you clung to his arm. 

when you reached the top of the tower, you were met with the open sight of the castle grounds below you. the walls were open archways with moonlight illuminating the space. the amount of astronomy equipment was beyond you as you ran to one of the guardrails to admire the landscape from above.

having broken away from riki’s arm, your absence was quickly noticed by him, apparent in the way he swiftly caught up and placed a cautious arm around you.

“god, please be careful. don’t you see how high up we are?” he muttered to the side, before looking down at you.

any fear you previously held about the elevation vanished once you saw the expanse of land that stretched out beyond the castle. 

in your brief rundown and sloppy history lesson of the school given to you by jongseob and soul, they had in fact mentioned your campus was a castle, but to see it from up above was it’s own feat.

“what, worried i’m gonna fall again?” you teased riki, noticing his worries. 

he had to blink away his surprise. that small comment was the most authentic he had seen you since the incident, albeit he had only spent a total of 15 minutes with you so far. understandably, you had only been closed off and apologetic around him and presumably everyone else, so seeing you back in that moment caught him off guard. of course, teasing him probably ran in your blood at that point. it was like second nature for you.

“i- uh.” he mentally slapped himself for stumbling over his words, quickly removing his arm around you once he noticed. “just be careful up here, alright?”

you laughed. a sound he was certainly not used to on the receiving end of at all. he had to push down whatever thought was threatening to bubble up that suggested he liked the sound of it. 

damn it. why were his hands sweating.

thankfully, you didn’t pay him much attention, as you were focused on taking in everything you could see hundreds of feet below you: the lake illuminated by the moon, the empty quidditch pitch not too far from castle grounds, the brooding forest that was densely populated with trees. you vaguely recall jongseob telling you some horror story about how he got sent to wander that ‘forbidden’ forest in… was it your 4th year? most of the details went over your head.

“thank you for taking me up here, riki.” you broke the comfortable silence after who knows how much time you just spent just taking everything in, “you don’t have to stay up here with me, i can find my way back down when i’m done up here.”

you were aware that your previous relationship with riki probably wasn’t a close one, so stringing him along with you and pulling him into these conversations had to get bothersome at a certain point. his flighty and inconsistent attitude wasn’t suspicious to you, but you’d like to think that hit to your skill didn’t take away your ability to read social cues. his texts to you didn’t sound as comfortable as your other friends. 

yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out. there was something about him that set him apart from hikaru, eunchae, soul, and jongseob– a familiarity only he brought. you found yourself clinging onto that at times.

“don’t worry about me, stay here as long as you want. i don’t mind waiting.” the words leave riki’s lips before he could even process what he was saying. he hated how you kept apologizing, though he could admit that his aloof behavior was why you felt so guilty for taking up his time. “plus, i wouldn't make you walk back to the infirmary yourself.”

it ate at him that he was the one that should be saying sorry every other sentence, not you.

riki took a step back from the railing you were looking over to go sit at one of the benches on the tower, allowing you to have space to yourself.

“i’ll be here. just let me know when you want to head back.” he reassured you, letting you gaze at the stars for however long you needed to.

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notes: we've entered riki's constant cycle of 'i have a clear solution to my problem but im gonna ignore it. and everytime i ignore it, i yearn a little more for what i cant have.....' god i am annoying with this shit!

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[hitlikehammers]

oh golden boy (don't act like you were kind)

part ii: you shined a light on your home

for @kultiras at the ❄️ Winter @steddieexchange 🖤💚

<<< part one

Eddie will not pretend he doesn’t squeak when Dustin bustles past him into the house—a wholly appropriate ranch on the edge of town, with two whole separate bedrooms, no one on the couch anymore, plus a little side room that Eddie thinks probably wasn’t meant as a guest room but can definitely fit about three sleeping bags, four at a push—but yeah, he should have expected Dustin to shove his way into Eddie’s home whether Eddie invited it or not.

He doesn’t have to like it. Or approve of it. Or tolerate it without complaint; without pushing back.

“Hend—” he tries to sound stern, tries to project hand-on-hips-authority like St—

Like some people do. Sometimes. So Eddie’s heard.

“Implied consent!” Dustin cuts him off, voice carrying from at least the living room already, Jesus fuck, this kid; his tone.

Eddie’s glaring hard enough to almost definitely bore a hole through this shithead’s skull, or maybe make him spontaneously combust. If Supergirl was the one glaring, it’d be a done deal.

“You didn’t shut the door, thereby participating in the creation of an entrance,” Dustin’s rambling on and Christ, but he’s such a pompous little fuck sometimes.

“Which is great, and super smart of you,” Dustin tells him earnestly, actually, and wow: if that isn’t condescending, holy fuck; “because the quicker we can address the problem, the quicker it can be solved,” and then he’s turning of his heel and fucking…clapping his hands to together like Eddie’s in goddamn kindergarten.

“So!” Dustin barks with a weird enthusiasm. “Now we can talk about what you did to Steve, and how you’re gonna fix it.”

Eddie blinds at him for a couple couple seconds before throwing his hands up and half-kinda snarling, half-kinda whining:

“What the fuck, man?”

And honestly, Eddie’s torn just now between hurt and angry, indignant and bleeding out a little, because he doesn’t like Dustin accusing him blindly, here, and while he’s long grown past thinking the hero worship was unfounded—honestly, if he’s going to have to think about the man explicitly instead of as the understood ‘you’ that the constant ache of him and his absence has settled as in Eddie’s universe: he thinks what he clocked as hero worship in the beginning probably could have used some bulking up, because…the genuine article was so much more than even the stories Eddie’d refused to believe at the start.

But, back it up: Eddie…Eddie can accept Dustin coming to Steve’s defense—encouraged it, even. But, like, Dustin has stood up for Eddie, too, and just…Eddie didn’t do anything, he’s spent enough cold nights with his arms stretched missing what they’d learned so well to wrap around and hold so close, mourning what’s not there and hell yes, he’s run down every little detail he can think of, where he might have been the one to drive Steve away without ever, ever meaning to, and it boils down the same every time: there’s nothing.

He wishes there was. Because then yeah, like Dustin’s saying—there’d be something to fix. Something to do, to try and salvage what Eddie is entirely aware was very probably the love of his fucking life.

But there isn’t.

“Clearly something is wrong between the two of you,” Dustin gestures broadly in the air, extravagant for no reason but then also it kinda fits entirely because this entire heartbreak of an affair is basically the most devastating thing that’s ever tried to take Eddie down, and he was basically dead in another dimension that one time, so.

That’s saying something, is what he’s getting at.

“And like, I’ve watched when Steve’s been the one to fuck up, man, so like, I can recognize the signs and,” Dustin shakes his head, looks not exactly apologetic but not entirely all-in guns-blazing about pinning the blame on Eddie alone. At least not without giving him a fair shake to explain first.

Which he’d do, if he had any fucking idea what caused them to crash and burn when they’d been the most solid thing Eddie had ever seen, let alone been a part of; got to feel for himself.

“I know Steve,” Dustin says carefully, kinda slow, almost reluctant, which Eddie doesn’t really get until the next part comes out, a little choked, like tears muscled down:

“I’ve never seen him like this.”

Well. Fuck.

Fuck.

“It’s the holidays, man,” Eddie tries to make it sound casual, or at the very least genuine, like his pulse hasn’t jumped for the idea that Steve’s…not okay. Not fucking thriving like he deserves, now that Eddie’s out of the way of what makes him as happy as he should always be. “Sometimes people are just a little down in the dumps, it’s not unheard of,” and he thinks that lands okay, those are all true things, no one needs to know the way his heart’s thumping like a rabbit as his head goes to all sorts of horrible possibilities, and he shouldn’t let himself slide down those pathways anymore, it’s not his business, Steve isn’t—

“He’s not just sad,” Dustin shakes his head; “he’s not,” and he trails off and Eddie’s heartbeat stutters then jackhammers wild for the way Dustin’s face crumples over a fucking interminable stretch of moments that drives every horror possible through fragile arteries not prepared for how much it hurts, laced with the acids at the base of Eddie’s throat and rising, banged around with every beat and—

“I don’t think he’s sleeping,” Dustin says, so quiet, hard to tell if there are actual tears of just the threat of them. “I don’t think he’s eating,” and he takes a shaky breath that gets mirrored in Eddie’s blood, sniffles as he adds on, kinda desperate, fraying at the seams: “Robin can’t even…”

He stops, breathes a couple of times and collects himself—too good at that. Eddie…

Eddie doesn’t even try to do that, for his part. He’s not…strong, like these kids. Like the rest of this little rag-tag-trauma family unit. Eddie isn’t built that impermeable. S’why he’s always had to put on a show, scare people off before they get close enough to see the obvious.

Until…Steve.

And the proof of Eddie’s weaknesses are front and centre right now, so. Case in point.

“I met him right after he and Nancy broke up,” Dustin’s saying after he takes the time to regroup, huffing a breath and furrowing his brows at nothing, until: “after she did the,” and he circles his wrist around again and oh. Oh.

Bullshit.

Eddie’s brow furrows, too, at that.

“I didn’t know it at the time, obviously, and not like I was really paying attention anyway,” Dustin screws up his face a little, like he’s angry at a lot of people for what he’s remembering, and he’s not exempt from his own list; “but you said it yourself, you thought they were meant to be,” Dustin points at him in the sort of way that presses down on Eddie’s shoulders, makes him feel queasy and just…small.

“Unmitigated love, or whatever,” Dustin half-sneers and he doesn’t think that was the word he used but fuck if Eddie’s not transported back to those woods, to those first inklings that his heart was gonna leap and know it couldn’t stick the landing, would less crack and more like splatter, a messy ruin on the sidewalk for trying, for reaching when there was nothing to hook with a grip—

Except there had been, in the end. He hadn’t known it then—just reveled in the way it felt to brush arms against that man, to lean close enough to feel his heat in the frigid deadspace that was the hellscape they were trekking through.

But the end, as it has come anyway, did in fact leave him a fucking spatter-scape on the concrete, exactly the same as he’d feared at the start.

But Dustin fucking Henderson hadn’t been there when Eddie was making eyes at Mr. Former High School Royalty, so—

“How the fuck do you—”

“Doesn’t matter how,” Dustin waves him off like he’s a fucking idiot for asking a question that’s beneath his concern for the topic at hand. “Youthought that,” he rocks forward in emphasis and okay, fine, yeah. Eddie had thought that.

It’d taken a long fucking while for Eddie to stop thinking it; he’s tried not to wonder, now, if he was foolish to ever stop thinking it.

But: no. Of all the reasons Steve got sick of him, he doesn’t think it was because Steve decided to want Nancy. He remembers every word Steve told him about that time, and how Eddie knew it was downplayed for how much Steve took the brunt of her rejection, for how generous Steve was in hindsight to remember how it went down; how genuinely worrisome it was to know Steve actually saw himself as deserving what he’d gotten.

Still. Back in the Upside Down, Eddie had thought it. Told him to get it back. Couldn’t fathom her not seeing the error of her ways even before he comprehended just how egregious her errors ran the first time, just how little even unambiguous signs of love might still fail to deserve Steve Harrington.

But before he knew: he had thought he understood well enough to judge.

Just more reasons for Eddie Munson to quality as an unmitigated idiot.

“So when he lost that,” Dustin’s picking back up again, has got his explaining cap on, trying to map a diagram or some shit, save that it’s Steve and it feels…insufficient in every way, insulting at that, to think Steve could ever be made…simple like that. Cut and dry.

Eddie bristles at it. Maybe he doesn’t have the right anymore, but: Dustin sure as fuck does, and needs to do better.

“He was still okay enough, after that, to fucking join a quest for demodogs and get beat to hell by a psychopath,” Dustin’s saying with the kind of gravity all of a sudden that feels up to reshaping the world; “all just to protect some kids he didn’t even know.”

Eddie can feel where this is headed, can see the lead up to where Dustin’s going to drop them.

He wishes like hell that he couldn’t.

“So if he’s like this, now,” and Dustin sounds…fucking distraught, like all the posturing of pressuring Eddie to reveal what the hell had gone wrong, what he’d done to destroy them, to lose his Steve: the anger and the bafflement was all secondary.

The kid’s fucking scared.

And this kid? Who’s stared down certain death, who’s jumped after Eddie’s stupid ass when the end was imminent, no question?

That…that ratchets Eddie’s pulse up, considerably. For what it has to…mean.

“I have never,” and Dustin’s voice is kind of raspy, kind of too strained and Eddie…Eddie thinks it’d be shitty of him to say that Dustin only sounds like he’s struggling with a fraction of what Eddie’s starting to feel head-on, the bone-deep trembling worry for the unspoken details that must comprise the current state of Steve, piled on top of the wholesale grief and the mourning of both what Eddie’d had, and what he’d been hoping he’d be allowed, be able to keep.

It’d be shitty to say that. So he won’t.

Say it.

“Eddie, I have never seen him like this.”

And it’s all Eddie can do not to whimper, or moan pathetically because the hurt in those words is visceral, and it’s not supposed to be there because Eddie was the problem, he was what was hurting Steve and he’s out of the equation. So what’s causing this much anxiousness, this much concern? How could something have gone to shit so quickly, in just the weeks they’ve been apart—what’s wrong with his Stevie?

(And maybe Steve isn’t his anymore but by god, Eddie is Steve’s, will be to the day he dies, he thinks—no, he knows; no matter where he goes or who he becomes, a part of his heart will belong to Steve for always, whether it’s wanted or not. So that’s his Steve. Where is heart lives. Where is love burns, even as a nuisance. He can’t stop it. He can’t put it out.

It’s with his Steve, and no other.)

“And like,” and Eddie pulls himself enough out of his wallowing, his fretting, the aching in his fucking veins to focus on Dustin as he eyes Eddie up blatantly, the squints a little:

“You don’t look like you’re doing the best, either.”

Okay. Rude.

“Gee, thanks,” Eddie tries to drawl annoyingly, fails miserably; aim to bat his eyes at an attempt at levity that he knows falls flat as hell.

He doesn’t know if he was even trying for it more for Dustin’s sake, or his own.

“Fuck off, man,” Dustin rolls his eyes; “I’m serious,” then he’s gets that grave tone about him again and Eddie hates that these kids have to even know how to be that serious about anything—least of all him, and his…whatever you call the ruins of your everything, when it comes to—

“You might not be hurting like Steve is,” Dustin tells him plain, doesn’t pull punches; “like you’re joyful in comparison,” and okay, ouch—

“But that’s not a healthy bar to clear.”

And Dustin’s eyes are a little narrowed around the call-out, the judgement on so many levels but they’re also…open somehow. Trying to be receptive, and welcoming.

Trying to be a good friend—for Steve and Eddie alike.

“Henderson,” Eddie shakes his head even before his voice strains; “he,” and all the fight goes out of him, drained dry better than the bats ever managed to leave him which is for the best, really, because what he says next, what he admits next is as good as slicing as artery, the way it flays him open to speak into the world:

“He doesn’t want me around.”

He doesn’t want you—

“Oh, right,” Dustin snarks at him with a glare; “definitely doesn’t wilt whenever you come up, doesn’t leave the room or anything,” then it’s Dustinwho wilts a little, somewhere between a pout and concern:

“When we actually get to see him at all.”

“That would be a prime example,” Eddie notes with a kind of…devastated intent, shoving the stabbing sense of worry at the core of him out of the way to make his point: “of what someone does when they don’t want a person around,” and Eddie is right, he’s absolutely right because that’s just natural, that’s a normal reaction and here is clear proof that—

“Not Steve.”

Dustin cuts Eddie’s mental conviction off at its knees with the sheer amount of feeling, of certainty in his tone, like he knows this one thing beyond all the doubt in the world.

It’s that certainty that sours worst in Eddie’s gut.

“If Steve doesn’t want something, he ignores it,” Dustin says, insistent and so fucking sad; “I think it goes back to his parents, like,” Dustin shrugs, and Eddie feels bile at the back of his throat.

“If you’re unwanted, you’re neglected, treated like you don’t exist,” and not for the first time, Eddie kinda-sorta regrets that the murder charges didn’t stick, because then he’d be tarred and feathered appropriately to just go ahead and off the fuckers that made Steve ever wonder if he was somehow anything less than the best person, the most deserving of everything.

“Because that hurts worse,” Dustin says, low, like he gets it. Like he hates it.

“Being invisible hurts the worst.”

Death would be too easy for those fucking assholes who taught Steve that, just because their own hearts were hateful. Eddie…Eddie wants to run to his Stevie and just, fucking, hold him. Make sure he remembers that it doesn’t matter if Eddie’s near or far, his or never close again: he’ll always matter to Eddie. He’ll never, ever be invisible.

“I,” Eddie licks his lips when the silence stretches too long, and Dustin doesn’t seem inclined to fill it this time. “He,” and Eddie’s mouth is too dry, throat still too tight; “we’ve been—”

“You’re together.”

Eddie freezes, heart doing a kind of hard brake thing that shakes him from the ribs on out, and Eddie may not have know where the hell he was going, how he was going to summarize then sanitize what it feels like to give all that you are and be found wanting in the end—but he hadn’t once considered fucking saying…that.

“What?” Eddie chokes, half-assed at best. It’s shock more than it’s denial, save that it should have been past tense, even if Eddie’s whole fucking soul is still with Steve, but he doesn’t think he knows or even fully wants to reel it back.

Ever.

But while they hadn’t hid anything more than in plain sight? They…no one was ever told they’d been dating, and, he, they—

“If even I can see it,” Dustin says, not unkindly exactly but…definitely blunt: “that kinda means it’s an open secret.”

Eddie coughs around the tight shock squeezing at his throat:

“Those aren’t your words,” he manages, because—they aren’t.

And Dustin looks briefly like he sucked on a lemon, knows he can’t fight the obvious.

“Max,” he sighs, admitting from where he’s borrowing uncharacteristic insight; “she told me I was the last to know.”

Any other day, about any other thing, Eddie would feel a much bigger sense of petty vindication in Dustin’s forced humbling.

As it stands? Eddie’s chest hurts too much to fit any kind of twisted delight of the kind getting any sort of foothold in him.

“Right,” he breathes out in an airy, useless kind of sound, doesn’t know where it’s going, doesn’t know what he’s doing.

He feels…actually?

Dying felt less tumultuous than what’s starting to churn through his veins right now, no fucking lie.

“You guys could have told us,” Dustin prods, a little sad, disappointed—hurt that he was left out.

“I,” Eddie’s mouth works around a lot of thoughts, a lot of half-formed feelings because what would it have been like to hold Steve where the people they loved could see, just because they could? To sit in his lap when he got tired, when the scars ached a little from doing too much for too long with the kids. To warm his hands just under the hem of a sweater. To just, just—

“Doesn’t matter now,” is what Eddie lands on, because it’s the honest conclusion of all his wishful wondering; bitter in his voice as much as it is in his chest. “It’s over.”

Fuck. Fuck, has he even said that out loud, yet? Can’t have—it hits too much like whiplash. Like the world ending.

“Doesn’t sound over,” Dustin volleys back like it’s simple; “is it over, for you?”

He asks it, like it’s enough to love with all that you are when it’s got nowhere to go anymore. Like he can strong-arm that kind of feeling through will alone. That one side can make a relationship on their own.

“It sure as hell doesn’t look like it’s over for him,” Dustin stares him down, now, something shifting in his demeanor that screams that he’s done playing games.

“What did you say?” Dustin asks him, something a little pleading in it, but Eddie’s throat won’t work, he can’t fucking speak and Dustin reads it as avoidance, instead of like Eddie’s heart is trying to rip out past his fucking trachea.

“What did he say?” but Dustin doesn’t sound even remotely convinced for his own self that this is on Steve. That it could be on Steve. And…again. Dustin hasn’t been shy about supporting one of them over the other when necessary.

“I,” and how is Eddie even supposed to breach explaining the chain of events that he can parse, leading to where things stand now? Sorry buddy, your ineffably physical and endlessly affectionate brother-slash-babysitter started refusing my kisses and sleeping on the edge of the bed so he barely touched me when he used to be a goddamn octopus to my sloth, grabbing and never letting go until he did, entirely, which is to say nothing of the sex, fuck, did you know your taxi driver is loud as shit in bed, but then all of a sudden if we even had sex he was suddenly silent and if there’s ever a blow to your ego, it’s to fuck your boyfriend and get nothing in response save sometimes tears he doesn’t acknowledge in the aftermath, that really makes a guy feel special.

Yeah, he’s not going to say that. He doesn’t even know how to get across how Steve pulled away, slow and all at once at the same time, overnight as much as it felt like it happened in pieces. But he stiffened when Eddie so much as brushed against him. He barely talked to Eddie. He was always taking extra shifts at work. He didn’t want to be around Eddie. He didn’t want Eddie, outgrew him in the course of weeks, maybe months if Eddie just hadn’t noticed in the beginning, but, it just…they were amazing, one minute. Perfect.

And then they…weren’t.

“He, I mean, it,” and Eddie grabs at his hair and hides behind it, because all of that’s true, all of what he saw and felt and lost in his relationship with Steve before it stopped: it’s accurate.

But then there’s…everything Dustin’s saying. And…Steve was pulling away from him, turning away from him, but did he…was he seeing Robin, or only at work? Was he seeing the rest of the Party?

“He was,” Eddie tries to find a throughway to follow but he’s too distracted because…was Steve sleeping before Eddie stopped coming to bed at all, because everything he tried wasn’t enough, because it was breaking him to keep lying there and not just be ignored, but be actively avoided? Was he…had Steve not been eating regularly, before Eddie left—

Wait.

Eddie…Eddie didn’t leave. He went to Wayne’s, the home that wasn’t the one Steve grew up in, when he needed to get more clothes. It was getting too cold, and since he’d basically moved in with Steve right out of the hospital and never really moved out, he’d been migrating what had survived the old trailer little by little as needed and so he’d…he’d gone to get things.

He’d broken down when his uncle asked him what was wrong, said he looked like someone ran over his cat.

More like his heart, but. Same idea.

And then he’d…he’d been scared. He’d called the house to try and ask Steve when he wanted Eddie to come back, because he’d wondered after telling Wayne everything—and hearing him talk about what it was like coming back from war for some of his buddies—if Steve just needed some space: but the line had rang and rang and rang. Didn’t even grab the machine.

And Eddie had…Eddie had cried so fucking hard he could have sworn he’d busted something in his eye. But…but…

never gonna leave you all alone again

He gasps to himself when the words run lightning quick through his head, and his heart clenches fucking hard.

Did…did Eddie, did he go and…and leave Steve…

Did he leave his Stevie alone?

No. No, it was, Eddie never wanted to keep his distance.

Eddie doesn’t stay awake to all hours staring the the ceiling while his body reels at what it knows it’s missing because he wants to. He doesn’t jolt awake lamenting that emptiness because he likes it, whenever his consciousness drifts in fitful bursts that he doesn’t feel like he deserves, because while he’d maybe been slinking back to lick his wounds when he went to Wayne’s, he would never have even thought to do this own his own, to be estranged.

Though all of those things aren’t without the parasitic leech of a thought on the side: he told you to leave with everything but words, and only that because he stopped taking at all.

But…but Eddie can’t live with Steve hurting. And maybe Steve doesn’t want him, doesn’t love him like that anymore. But Eddie thought of him as his friend, even if they never had a space between where they were just friends and not everything.

And it sounds like maybe Steve could use a friend. Maybe he doesn’t want Eddie for that either, but. Eddie’s kinda in agony at just the thought of the picture Dustin’s been painting.

“It’s Christmas,” Dustin takes that unspoken cue to pipe back up; “like, I just,” and he ends on a note of straight-up entreaty, damn close to pleading:

“Fix it, man.”

And Eddie…

Eddie doesn’t think he’s wanted, in general. Certainly not to be the one who fixes…anything.

But a nice chunk of his heart is with this man who is apparently hurting, and Eddie’s soul-certain love is fixed on him, probably for the rest of fucking time, so.

He’s sitting here being unwanted already.

Won’t hurt to try; can’t possibly end up worse.

for @kultiras🖤

✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @nerdyglassescheeseychick @swimmingbirdrunningrock @goodolefashionedloverboi @sanctumdemunson @theheadlessphilosopher @sadisticaltarts @bumblebeecuttlefishes @shrimply-a-menace @wheneverfeasible @1-tehe-1 @themoonagainstmers @dreamercec @ravenfrog @live-laugh-love-dietrich @stealthysteveharrington @tinyplanet95 @theohohmoment @samsoble @tinyloonyteacups @askitwithflours @awkwardgravity1 @pretend-theres-a-name-here @dragoon-ze-great @warlordess @notaqueenakhaleesi @pukner

divider credit here

[gnawingonleonsbicep]

Thinking about Vendetta Leon brushing your hair

But more specifically, thinking of Leon brushing your curly hair. Because my lovely boyfriend has curly hair and I’m making this with him in mind <3

gn!reader + no physical descriptors for reader besides reader having curly hair + hair long enough to braid.

Just imagine it. You haven’t had the time or motivation to brush your hair, and now it feels like you’re trying to bust out of prison armed with only a plastic spoon and sheer will. But you can’t just put it off any longer..

After a while, you were nearly frustrated to the point of tears !! And you weren’t even close to being finished !!

By then, Leon would’ve taken your brush from you and placed it onto the counter of the bathroom sink, rubbing your shoulders and whispering to you in that soft, sweet voice that was reserved for you and you alone.

Poor guy would never truly understand how you feel, but he could never get upset with you. God, no. Not when you were one of the best things that happened to him.

So he’d take his time with you, being gentle with every slow movement, working his way up from the ends until he reaches your roots, repeating the process with the utmost love. He was smitten, after all.

It didn’t matter how long it took. Regardless, if he spent hours or days completing the task at hand, he’d happily take it over the grand feats coming from his line of work. The domesticity of it all, while unusual, lets him have some semblance of normality in his hectic life.

By the time he fully detangles your hair, he’s braiding your hair for you to try and help keep it from getting so tangled. Because he loves you so much, and he just wants to take away all your stresses and worries in life.

He’d never find your hair to be “too difficult to manage” or view it as a chore. Because he thinks it’s just so pretty, and he’d rather learn something new and how to take care of you and your hair than ever even imply you should change anything about yourself that you didn’t want to.

[moonylvs]

— ⋆˙⟡ A Lovely Christmas

Summary: Coming back to your small hometown for Christmas after years in the city doesn't sound very exciting, but the warmth of the town, the smell of cookies and a woman with a delicious wooden scent make you think that maybe Christmas won't be so bad.

Dedicated to @kousanosgf I hope you like it and have a Merry Christmas, xoxo.

Pairing: Sevika x fem!reader

Words: +6k (I lost count, but this is long)

ⓘ Warnings: Mostly fluff, modern au, cliche, a bit of soft!sevika (Someone give this woman a hug), hallmark kind of movie, use of yn once, no proofread, lmk if I miss anything!

Coming back to your hometown was not the way you expected to spend Christmas, but here you were, in that little town where snowfalls were an everyday thing, that little place where everyone knew each other, you didn't know whether to love it or hate it.

In just a week that you had been in that little town you had already been greeted and hugged by half of the population, all telling you “How big you are” and how “much you have changed”, even some old ladies who even if you tried hard you couldn't remember, called you beautiful and said they remembered you as a baby.

You did not consider yourself the most sociable or friendly person, years in the city and a dozen rude people had made you become a rather closed and some would even say bitter, you had to admit that you had lost a little Christmas spirit, not that your small apartment in the big city allowed you to do much, you just put some Christmas decorations on the front door to not feel out of place with the other neighbors.

But other than that, your Christmas the last few years had been boring and lonely, your work consumed most of your time and without many close friends you had no one to spend the holidays with.

So here you were, in that small town, it was all a rushed decision, after years you finally got a well deserved vacation from your job, but the moment they gave you the news you couldn't help but ask yourself, what the fuck do I do now?

You thought about staying at home, rest and sleep as much as you needed, or maybe travel to some extravagant place, you had the savings for that, but at the same time it felt so…empty.

You spent a whole day tossing and turning in bed in your apartment, trying to think of something to do so that your vacation wouldn't become a routine of rolling around in bed and overthinking.

That's when your gaze fell on your bedside table, where there was a picture of your family, when you were just a little girl, you were covered in so many clothes that you were sure you could barely walk, but your smile was pure, full of happiness.

So you thought, why not go back to that place, where there were so many memories, you knew it probably wouldn't be the same, your parents were no longer there to cheer you up in those cold days, you didn't even know if your old friends were still living in that small town or if they had left for the city like you, but at this point you didn't have many options and what better than spending Christmas in a small town where Christmas is such a beloved tradition.

You didn't know at what point you thought it was a good idea to buy so many Christmas decorations and stuff, but here you were, carrying at least a dozen boxes and bags, each one with ornaments, old-fashioned decorations, garlands and you even remembered to buy a ridiculous Christmas sweater.

You could barely stand, maybe everything would be easier if you had brought your car with you, but in that small town everyone was in the habit of walking and your house was not too far from the center of town.

While you were trying to get to your house you couldn't avoid bumping into some people, you didn't remember that there were so many people in the town, but now you were sure that the population had at least doubled.

You were starting to feel tired, you had to admit that it wasn't your best idea to buy all those things knowing that you had to carry them back home.

At this point you felt your legs ache, you were freezing and desperately needed to eat something, for a moment you stood in the middle of the sidewalk, rethinking your life decisions, you were sure that your hands had the marks of the handles of the bags and half of your vision was obstructed by the boxes you were holding.

When one of the bags slipped from your hand it was the final straw, you knew that to pick it up you would have to bend down and first of all your legs hurt, but more importantly, the rest of the stuff would fall out, your eyes closed in frustration, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

Fuck, fuck Christmas, fuck the Christmas spirit and fuck you and your compulsive shopping.

“Need some help, sweetheart?” a voice snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to open your eyes, though the boxes still obstructed your vision.

“Yeah, thanks” You said quietly, not caring who it was that had spoken to you, you only felt the frustration disappear a little when that person held the boxes that obstructed your vision with ease and handed you the small bag you had dropped, at least you didn't feel like you were carrying weights anymore.

“I didn't remember you liked those ridiculous sweaters” Your gaze lifted suddenly, now recognizing that voice, but above all that scent, of fresh wood.

“Sevika” The name came naturally out of your mouth, without thinking.

The woman smiled slightly as she listened to you, taking some of the bags you were holding as she saw that you still seemed to be having trouble with the weight of them.

“I didn't know you were back in town, I thought you were already a city girl” Sevika said with that typical sarcasm you still remembered, you couldn't help but scoff slightly, you had lost count of how many people in town had said that to you.

“I just came to spend the holidays here, but I forgot how much you walk in this town” You said with some frustration, it was true that the big city was full of cabs and means of transportation that made your life easier, while here, most if not all, walked.

There were only a few people who owned a car, among them, sevika.

“Do you want me to give you a ride home? I see walking is no longer your thing” Sevika said with amusement, although her offer was sincere. You could still remember the years when both were young and would walk all over town, buying Christmas cookies and running errands for your parents.

“Yeah, I could really use a ride, I'm freezing” You admitted with amusement, letting sevika guide you to her car across the street.

You had to admit you weren't surprised at the ease with which sevika carried your stuff, she was always taller and stronger than the rest, you had to blame her parents' job ( probably hers now) for this.

Sevika placed the boxes and bags on the back seats of the truck, before opening the door for you with a smirk, to which you rolled your eyes.

That truck was the same one you remembered seeing as a child, the one that Sevika's father drove around the small town, bringing Christmas trees and firewood to all the residents, you had to say that although it was old it was in very good condition.

“Your family still sells firewood and Christmas trees?” You asked calmly the moment Sevika started the car, she didn't even bother to ask if you were still living in the same place, she knew you were.

“Yeah, my father passed the business down to me a few years ago, he said he was too old to keep working, but I think he really just wanted me to have a job and stop going from bar to bar” Sevika explained with a smile, you didn't doubt it would have been like that, when they were young Sevika was always the topic of conversation in town, some older men even said she would be a problem, but here you were now, almost 15 years later and Sevika seemed to be anything but a problem.

It didn't take long to get to your house, in fact, now you felt a little embarrassed because your house was too close and you could have easily walked there, but you were thankful that at least sevika didn't mention anything about it.

When you arrived home Sevika was quick to come down and open the door for you before starting to unload the boxes and bags from the back seats, while you hurried to open the front door, wanting to take shelter from the winter cold.

Upon entering the house you immediately felt relieved, it was as warm as you expected and you finally stopped feeling like you were freezing.

Sevika came in behind you carrying the boxes and bags, leaving them on the dining room table, the place was just as she remembered it.

It was obvious that you had been away from the village, because most of the people were already used to the cold while you were freezing with just a little while outside.

“Would you like some hot chocolate? For helping me out” You offered with a small smile, though you didn't even wait for an answer before you started walking to the kitchen.

Sevika rolled her eyes at this, but only hummed in approval, it wouldn't hurt to have a cup of hot chocolate, plus she wasn't planning on refusing to spend a little time with you.

You prepared the drink quickly, the smell bringing back memories of your childhood and Christmases in that place.

“Here” you murmured, handing a cup to sevika, it took you by surprise that sevika laughed, but you soon realized that the cup you had given her was yours, how did you know this? Because of the ridiculous drawing on the mug, which was a picture of the grinch.

“You never change from what I see” Sevika said mockingly, to which you rolled your eyes and snatched the cup from her hands, handing her the one that had no ridiculous drawing and was of a flat color.

Sevika tried to hold back her smile, despite the years you were still somewhat childish and stubborn, but something about it gave her comfort, despite the years, you hadn't changed.

“What made you come back after so many years?” sevika asked calmly after a few minutes in a comfortable silence.

You hesitated for a moment, taking a sip of your hot chocolate while you thought, even you didn't quite know the reason, you didn't want to say it was an impulsive decision, but at the same time it was as if something drew you back to that place.

“I don't know, I guess I needed a break from the city” you murmured, although the truth is that you didn't just need a break, you were looking for that comfort of the town, the one you had in your childhood, but you didn't even know if you would still find that comfort in the town after years.

Sevika just hummed in approval, she knew you weren't saying everything, but she wasn't going to push you to say more, you had always preferred to keep some things to yourself and Sevika knew that.

“Well, anyway…I'm glad you're back.” Sevika said with a gentle smile, taking a last sip from her mug before setting it down in the sink.

You couldn't explain why but something stirred in you, an electrifying current ran through your body at her words, you stood still for a moment, before snapping back to reality as you saw sevika take her coat and walk towards the door, running away after dropping a bomb, all in all things hadn't changed.

Without thinking your body instinctively moved after sevika, catching up with her at the door.

“Hope to see you around, call me if you need anything, love” Sevika said casually, opening the door and walking towards her truck, as always without looking back, but this time you were thankful she didn't, because she would have seen the embarrassing red color that flooded your cheeks at that nickname she hadn't used in years.

When Sevika's truck was finally far enough away from your sight, you went back into the house, closing the door behind you and leaning against it, lowering yourself down until you were sitting on the floor.

What the fuck was wrong with you? Why did you suddenly feel like a teenage girl having her first crush on a girl? Damn it, this couldn't be happening to you.

The next few days you tried to keep your mind busy, but those simple words from sevika wouldn't leave your head and that was killing you, you wanted to believe that it didn't mean anything, you and sevika had been friends when you were young, of course she would be happy to see you after years and the nickname, oh that damn nickname, of course it didn't mean anything either, she also called you that when you were young, you didn't even know how it started, you only knew that she only called you that, you and nobody else.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even hear the truck park in your house, not that you were going to notice it, you were trying to untangle that strip of lights, maybe you should have done it before climbing the stairs, but here you were, three meters above the ground, untangling a strip of lights and praying not to fall.

“All right up there, love?” That voice brought you out of your thoughts all of a sudden, for a moment you thought that now you were crazy, now you were hallucinating her voice?

But the sound of footsteps in the snow made you realize that in fact you were not hallucinating, without thinking your gaze went to the ground, seeing the figure of sevika, by god how good she looked from up there.

“Do you need help? I don't want you to fall on me, love” Sevika said with a smirk, her tone slightly mocking, but her gaze was fixed on you, as if she was actually expecting you to fall and hurt yourself, she even moved a little closer to the ladder.

“I'm not going to fall” You muttered with some annoyance, returning to your task of untangling the lights, trying with all your might to ignore sevika's presence, but it wasn't working, not at all.

Until this moment you hadn't taken into account that you were so far away from the ground, you looked at sevika again and this time the ground looked much farther, God, way too far, you didn't think you would die if you fell but it would definitely hurt.

“Get down from there and let me help you” Sevika said, this time her tone more gentle, seeming to notice your growing anxiety.

This time you didn't protest, leaving the lights there and starting to slowly descend the ladder, you were sure the ladder wasn't shaking so much when you climbed up, nor that the ground was so far away.

When you were halfway down the stairs you felt hands on your waist and soon your feet were on the ground again, which you were grateful for, you felt you would never finish coming down.

“Thank you” you murmured softly to sevika, lightly fixing your clothes, you were still a little anxious, you weren't even afraid of heights, you didn't understand where that momentary fear had come from.

“You're welcome, love” Sevika said kindly, her gaze sweeping over you, checking that you were okay. “Let me help you with this, yeah?” sevika asked, giving you a small smile, to which you nodded, her help would be very useful, you didn't want to climb that ladder again.

For a moment you realized that sevika had come to your house out of nowhere, which was strange.

“So what were you doing here?” you asked after a few minutes of silence, while sevika placed the Christmas lights calmly, although you felt on edge thinking that she could fall.

“I came to bring you some firewood, when I came you didn't have any, I thought you must be freezing” Sevika replied casually, brushing some snow off the roof, by god, how was he not freezing his hands off.

You frowned slightly, you hadn't even noticed that you didn't actually have any firewood, you had been living under the blankets freezing so much that you didn't think to light the fireplace.

“I'm almost done, would you mind giving me something to drink?” Sevika said after a few minutes in silence, to which you nodded immediately, walking into the house and pouring her some coffee, you prepared it as you always did, you didn't consider that maybe sevika wouldn't want it as sweet….

In a few minutes you came out with two cups of coffee, but as soon as you set foot in the snow you felt something cold hit your head, snow.

A loud laugh came from beside you, you looked up a little and there was Sevika, still on the ladder cleaning the snow from the roof, with a smile on her face, you couldn't remember ever seeing her smile like that.

You snorted falsely offended, feeling the snow on your head and seeing some flakes in the locks in front of you, you were thankful that nothing had fallen into the cups.

“Sorry, love, I didn't know you were there” Sevika said with amusement, although maybe she had seen you standing there, but she wasn't going to admit it. Sevika couldn't help but laugh as she came down the ladder and saw your hair white from the snow, her hand went to your hair, shaking it out a bit and brushing some of the snow out, even though you ended up a bit disheveled.

You just rolled your eyes, not being able to contain a giggle, careful not to burn yourself you handed the cup of coffee to sevika, instantly you noticed her frown slightly frowned when she saw the liquid in the cup.

“Don't tell me you like black coffee because I swear I'll throw you out of my house” You said in disbelief, staring at sevika, who only laughed lightly before shaking her head.

“It's just that this looks more like milk with a bit of coffee than coffee with milk” Sevika said mockingly, taking a sip of the coffee, though to her surprise, it was quite good, much less strong than what she usually drank, but not bad.

You smiled at her expression, which clearly showed that she liked it.

“I knew you'd like it” You replied with obviousness, giving her a proud smile, and sevika had to hold back with all her strength to say, 'I'd like anything that came from you'.

You both spent a few minutes in a comfortable silence, you watched the house, which now had Christmas lights and some decorations here and there, but sevika's gaze wasn't on the decorations, she didn't give a damn if santa was coming down the chimney, her gaze was fixed on you.

Despite the years for sevika you were still the same, your eyes were still huge and sparkled when you saw something you liked, you still covered your mouth when you laughed even though your smile was beautiful, your cheeks still blushed with the cold and you still had that habit of biting your lip when you were anxious.

Despite the years you were still you and sevika couldn't be happier with this, sevika thought that by going to the city and living so many years there, when you came back (if you did) you wouldn't be the same, she thought that maybe she wouldn't even be able to recognize you.

“Sev?”

Your voice brought sevika out of her thoughts, who hadn't even noticed that she had been staring at you and hadn't heard you speak.

“Yeah, sorry, what were you saying?” Sevika said, trying to sound as casual as possible, but your couldn't help but laugh slightly, even though you knew better than to tease her with this.

“I was telling you that if you were on your way to the town center…I wanted to know if maybe you could give me a ride” You explained with a small smile, trying to convince the woman.

Christmas Eve was tomorrow and you still wanted to buy some things, you didn't even know what you were going to do it for if you didn't plan for anyone to visit you but you still wanted to decorate and prepare some food, maybe you could give it to the people in the neighborhood, you remembered your parents doing it when you were little.

“Yeah sure, I was going to buy some stuff anyway, I can take you” Sevika replied calmly, finishing the coffee in her cup. “I'll take the Firewood inside and then we'll go, yeah?”

You nodded slightly, taking her empty mug and accompanying her inside while she carried the wood for the fireplace.

After leaving the empty cups in the kitchen, you went to get your purse, taking out some money, by the time you came out, Sevika was already waiting for you outside, leaning against her truck with a cigarette in her mouth.

You didn't want to admit it but she looked absolutely stunning, over the years she had grown a lot taller and her body was more muscular, probably because of her job.

You tried to shake those thoughts from your mind, but the blush had already grown across your cheeks.

“See something you like, love?” Sevika asked with a smirk, taking another drag on her cigarette.

You wanted to make a remark, to answer her, but you only felt your face turn redder, all you could do was roll your eyes and mutter a “shut up'”.

Without another word you walked towards the truck, Sevika still with a smirk opened the door of the truck for you, and then got in as well.

“Here, for the firewood” You said, extending the money to Sevika without looking at her, still feeling your face redden.

Sevika frowned, pushing your hand with the money gently.

“You don't have to pay me” Sevika replied sternly, starting the van towards town.

You rolled your eyes, extending the money towards Sevika again.

”Yes I do, just take it, will you?“” You said again, firewood was sevika's job and you weren't going to let her give you something for free.

“Love” Sevika called, catching your attention, damn it, she knew the effect that stupid nickname had on you. “I don't want you to pay me, I don't need you to pay me, so give it up, yes?”

Sevika's firm voice didn't let you contradict her, so you simply left quiet, still somewhat frustrated, but you knew there was no point in arguing, besides even if you didn't want to admit it, that nickname had convinced you a little.

The drive into town wasn't very long, the streets were flooded with people, all shopping for Christmas dinners.

Sevika quietly got out of the car, opening the door for you and helping you out, smiling slightly as your feet sank into the snow, you definitely should have chosen other shoes.

“Thank you for bringing me and for the firewood” You said softly, giving Sevika a small smile, your thanks were sincere, those small acts were huge for you.

“You're welcome love, do you want me to take you back when you're done?” Sevika asked to which you shook your head instantly, she had already done too much, you didn't want to take advantage of her kindness.

“No, no, don't bother, I'll just buy a few things and take a walk around town, thanks anyway sev” You said kindly, giving Sevika a sweet smile, to which she nodded slightly, saying goodbye and walking in the opposite direction to you.

The town was still the same as it was years ago, snow covered the streets and people were enjoying their Christmas shopping.

You spent some time going through each store, buying some ingredients for cooking, some gifts for your co-workers and just window shopping.

“Oh god, it's really you yn?” A voice behind you made its presence known, you instantly turned around, recognizing that sweet-eyed lady.

“Mrs. Smith, it's been a long time” You said in a friendly voice, walking up to greet the woman.

“I had heard you were back but I wanted to check it out myself” Said the woman with a sweet smile, which you reciprocated, it had been years since you had been in that town but there were people you never forgot.

“Ah yes, I just came to spend the vacations around here” You said kindly.

“I'm glad to see you here, I see the years did you good!” the woman remarked with a smile, squeezing your cheek affectionately, you couldn't help blushing slightly, feeling embarrassed for a moment, it was true that you had changed too much in these years.

“I saw you talking to Sevika, I'm glad to hear you're still friends” The woman said sympathetically, though there was something in her voice, nostalgia perhaps? “Sevika doesn't visit town much these days, she's always with work, so it's nice to see her around and more so happy like this.”

Your cheeks instantly turned red at the old woman's comment, you didn't even know this about sevika, you remembered that she used to be very sociable when she was little, running around town from place to place, so you had to admit you were a bit surprised.

“She doesn't visit the town much?” You repeated with curiosity and some confusion, the Sevika you remembered spent all her time in town.

“Not these days, after the death of her parents she took refuge in her home and work, I don't blame her…”

You couldn't even continue listening to the woman's words, you remained static, your mind blank.

Sevika's parents had died? How could you not have heard? You felt the air disappear from your lungs, sure, it had been a while since you had visited the village, but you still vividly remembered sevika's family, the one your parents used to visit at Christmas and who always made sure to give you presents.

“Her parents died? When?” you asked totally shocked, your face still slightly pale.

“Oh dear, didn't you know?” The woman said empathetically, bringing a hand to her chest. “It was a year ago now, the whole town suffered their loss, you know they were very loved…”

Your chest squeezed even tighter, how come you hadn't heard about it? Those people had welcomed you into their home a dozen times, they were loyal to their people and had a huge heart.

For a moment you felt your chest hurt too much, even more so because of Sevika, you didn't know and you didn't even get to say anything to her all this time, now you felt even worse, what if she thought you knew and you just didn't care?

The mere thought made your chest hurt, you couldn't leave it like this, you didn't want it to stay like this.

“I'm sorry ma'am, I have to go, it was nice to see you” You said politely, quickly saying goodbye to the woman and leaving the store.

You started walking through the streets of the town, it was starting to get dark and people were starting to go home, looking for shelter from the cold of the night.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see sevika, loading some groceries into her truck, without thinking you crossed the street, walking towards her, you didn't even know what you were supposed to say to her.

“Oh hi love, did you change your mind?” sevika asked calmly, about to take your shopping bags.

You didn't know what to say, you couldn't just say “oh I just heard your parents died, I'm sorry, I know it seems like I'm an insensitive piece of shit but I'm not!”

“Is something wrong?” Sevika asked with confusion when you wouldn't let her take the shopping bags.

“Ah? Oh, no, I just…” Shit why couldn't you stop stuttering.

“Do you want to come spend Christmas at my house?” You asked without thinking, your words coming out too fast that it took Sevika a few seconds to understand what you had said.

You immediately regretted it when you noticed that she didn't respond right away.

“You don't have to come, it was just an invitation, I was thinking of making cookies and baking something-” You quickly started to explain, your voice sounding more unsure than you would have liked, but Sevika interrupted you with a soft laugh.

“Love, relax, I would love to go, I was just taken by surprise by your invitation” Sevika said kindly as she noticed your concern over her response. “May I ask why the invitation so suddenly?”

You were quiet for a moment, hesitating how to answer, but simply sighed for a moment before speaking.

“I…I don't want you to spend Christmas alone, I'm here so I figured we could spend it together” You admitted quietly, unable to look Sevika in the eyes.

Sevika fell silent, the realization hitting her, you knew about her parents, someone had told you.

Sevika sighed lightly, bringing her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

“Who told you?” Sevika asked quietly, though she didn't sound upset, not with you.

“Mrs. Smith… I hadn't heard, I'm really sorry, I wish I had been here…been here for you” You said softly, feeling your chest tighten, you couldn't help but feel horrible, for not being there for her.

Sevika instantly shook her head, moving closer to you, bringing one of her hands to your chin, causing you to lift your head to look at her.

“You don't have to apologize, I know you didn't know” Sevika said softly, her tone more calm and understanding.

“I'm really sorry Sevika, I know they loved you so much” You said softly, this time looking Sevika in the eyes and for a moment you felt like you could see a momentary flash of vunerability, of pain.

You didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but you closed the distance between the two of you, hugging Sevika tightly, you wanted to show her that you cared, that you understood her pain.

Sevika was static for a moment, surprised by the sudden contact, she was never a fan of physical contact, but in that moment it felt so…comfortable.

In just a few seconds she hugged you back, sinking into the warmth of your body, for a moment she felt so vunerable, and for the first time she didn't mind.

Your embrace felt so perfect, so comfortable, after months she finally felt comforted.

Don't misunderstand her, the whole town had been there for her, giving her condolences and supporting her, but deep down Sevika didn't feel consoled, she didn't think anyone understood her pain, not like you.

You had been there in her childhood, you knew her parents, you knew how much they meant to Sevika, you knew and understood her, like no one else.

“Believe me I would have loved to have been here for you, I'm so sorry you had to go through this…. I know they loved you too much” You murmured softly, still not separating from sevika, you could swear she didn't want to separate either.

Sevika had no words, she couldn't say anything, at that moment she simply felt understood, your embrace alone gave her that comfort she was looking for, that she needed so much.

“My invitation for Christmas is still open, I'd really like to spend Christmas with you” You said softly, feeling Sevika separate just a little, just enough to just see your face.

“You don't have to feel pity for me, love, I don't want to be a bother in your house-” Sevika began to say, her tone slightly defensive at first, though still somewhat soft, probably because it was you.

You instantly frowned, shaking your head and interrupting her.

“Sevika, no, I'm not inviting you out of pity or anything, I'm serious when I say I want to spend Christmas with you” You said firmly, this time looking Sevika in the eyes, and she saw nothing but sincerity in you.

Still Sevika remained silent, there was something in her that was still defensive, that told her she couldn't let her guard down, that you were only inviting her out of pity.

“Let me take you home, love” Sevika murmured, finally letting go, even though she didn't want to, you instantly felt an emptiness, why did being in her arms feel so good?

The drive to your house was silent, neither of you said anything, you didn't know what to say or how to break the silence, and Sevika didn't seem to mind.

When you arrived at your house Sevika opened the door for you and brought down your groceries, making sure you got in the house.

“Thank you” You said softly, standing at the front door entrance, Sevika nodded slightly, before she could make the eagerness to turn around you spoke, '“My invitation still stands, just think about it, yeah?…There is no one else I would like to spend Christmas with” You admitted softly, giving sevika a small smile, you knew you were too direct, but at that moment you couldn't care less.

Sevika's eyes seemed to sparkle, she hesitated for a moment before she nodded slightly, you didn't know if she accepted or just simply gave in, but you didn't have the courage to ask.

At that moment you just watched Sevika leave in silence, getting into her truck without another word and disappearing down the snowy road.

Deep down and even if you didn't dare to admit it quietly, you hoped that Sevika would accept, that the next day she would show up at your door, you really wanted it.

Christmas Eve came, you spent the whole afternoon cooking all kinds of dishes, you didn't even know if Sevika would appear, but something deep inside you wanted to believe it, you desired to believe it.

The sky slowly began to darken, your house was illuminated by the Christmas lights that Sevika had hung.

After hours in the kitchen you finally finished, looking at the table in front of you with satisfaction, there was food, cookies and so on, you tried to recreate all those dishes you had eaten in your childhood.

The doorbell rang and you practically jumped in your place, you stood there for a moment, thinking you had imagined that sound.

But after a few seconds you moved quickly to the door, fixing your clothes and your hair lightly.

You couldn't help but feel anxious, your heart was pounding too hard and your head was racing too fast.

The moment you opened the door your heart stopped, Sevika was standing in front of you, looking spectacular, in her hands was a bouquet of flowers and a gift bag.

“Hi, love” Sevika's voice was soft and sweet, you couldn't even say a word, to say you were gawking was an understatement, all you could do was invite her in, moving to the side and opening the door for her.

Sevika smiled lightly, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

“I brought you this” Sevika said softly, extending the bouquet and gift bag to you.

You blinked a couple of times before taking both, but before sevika said anything else you walked over to her, wrapping her in your arms gently.

“Thanks for coming, sev” You murmured softly, feeling your cheeks redden.

Almost instantly sevika's arms were around your body, wrapping you gently, careful not to crush the flowers or the gift.

“Thank you for inviting me, love” Sevika replied sweetly, leaving a small kiss on your forehead.

To say you were happy was an understatement, you felt like an excited little girl at Christmas, you had spent all afternoon preparing a beautiful dinner and now Sevika was there to enjoy it, you couldn't ask for more.

After a few seconds you separated from Sevika, taking the gift and the flowers with one hand while with the other you took Sevika's hand, leading her towards the dining room.

Sevika couldn't help but smile at seeing you so excited, she didn't hesitate for a second to follow you, her eyes widening in wonder at the sight of all the food on the table.

That table looked like something out of a magazine, there was all kinds of food, desserts, sevika couldn't even recognize half of the dishes there, she just knew it looked delicious.

“I spent the whole afternoon cooking, I don't know what you like so I prepared many things…” You explained with a small smile, while looking at the table full of food.

“Everything looks delicious love” Sevika replied instantly, giving you the sweetest smile you had ever seen on her.

Almost instantly your cheeks reddened, you couldn't hide the smile on your face nor your happiness, everything felt like a movie.

After sevika admired the food you invited her to sit down, it was already dinner time and you were excited for her to try every dish.

The moment sevika put a spoonful of food in her mouth her eyes practically sparkled, a low humming moan came out of her mouth, showing you that she definitely liked it.

“This is delicious, my goodness” Sevika said with a smile, shoving bite after bite into her mouth.

You couldn't hide your happiness, you made her try all the dishes and left the desserts for the end, even though sevika seemed to be completely full, she didn't refuse to try any of your dishes, telling you how good each one was over and over again.

When you both finished dinner you decided to go to the living room to watch a Christmas movie, sevika hated them, but she didn't have the heart to tell you so she just nodded and sat with you on the couch, trying not to roll her eyes at every ridiculously romantic scene.

Without even noticing it, as the movie went on you and sevika ended up snuggled up next to each other, sevika's arm that was initially on the couch behind you, was now on your shoulders, tracing patterns on your arm gently.

You didn't hesitate to snuggle up next to her, until you were leaning against her side, feeling the warmth of her body sheltering you from the cold.

That position was the most comfortable, it felt so familiar and so real, your head couldn't think of anything else but Sevika and how good it felt to be this close to her.

At one point sevika's gaze wasn't even on the movie anymore, but on your face, staring at you and noticing every expression on your face, from your smiles to the pink color that appeared on your cheeks when the main characters kissed, sevika could only think about you and didn't want to think about anything else.

While you were watching the movie you were eating the cookies you had prepared, which sevika complimented a dozen times, saying that you had a lot of talent for baking.

Sevika's gaze fell on you when you took a last bite of your cookie and after a few seconds a smile appeared on her face, noticing that you had some icing on the corner of your lips.

You couldn't help but be surprised when sevika gently took your chin without saying a word, her gaze was fixed on your lips and you swore you couldn't be redder.

Sevika's thumb carefully ran over the corner of your lips, wiping away the icing that was there, you immediately felt embarrassed, feeling stupid for believing that Sevika was looking at you with other intentions, for imagining how good her lips would feel on yours.

Sevika seemed to notice the blush on your cheeks and her mouth curved into a slight smile, without another word her hand moved from your chin to your cheek, her hand caressing lightly.

You felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your eyes practically glowed at the sight of Sevika and she clearly noticed it, as her eyes glowed the same way as she connected her gaze with yours.

You both stayed like that for a few seconds, your faces so close that sevika could see every detail of your face, a gleam ran through her eyes and without another word her lips met yours.

Her lips felt like heaven on yours, they were firm yet so gentle, loving was the only word that came to your mind.

You instantly kissed her back, bringing your hand to her neck and pulling her closer.

Sevika felt like she could melt under your touch, your lips were the sweetest thing she had ever tasted, she could feel the sweet taste of your cookies and the strawberry flavor of your lipstick, it was the best combination she had ever tasted, the softness and sweetness with which you kissed her made her feel butterflies as if she was a teenager.

She didn't know how long you spent kissing until you had to pull away for air, sevika reluctantly pulled away, her hand still on your cheek, holding you gently.

The moment sevika saw your face a smile spread across her face, you looked absolutely beautiful, your lips slightly puffy and your cheeks flushed, your eyes shining with love, it was the best sight.

“You look absolutely gorgeous” Sevika admitted without thinking, her thumb caressing your cheek and feeling her heart melt as you leaned into her touch.

Your hand went to sevika's on your cheek, holding it sweetly as your eyes closed for a second, enjoying the warmth of her touch.

When your eyes opened your gaze was fixed on sevika, roaming over every detail of her face, her lips, her shining eyes, every little scar on her face.

“You're staring, love” sevika murmured softly, her lips curving into a small smile.

“I know” You replied without looking away, instead you moved closer, leaving another soft kiss on her lips, which sevika responded to instantly.

“I love you” You said softly as you broke away from the kiss, sevika's hand stopped on your cheek, looking at you in disbelief for a second, those words felt a thousand times more powerful coming from you.

Sevika pressed her lips to yours again, this time in a sweet and gentle way, before pulling you into an embrace, holding you against her chest.

“I love you… More than you can imagine” Sevika murmured softly, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

At that moment you felt your heart melt, you could hear the beating of her heart and feel the warmth of her body, at that moment you knew you didn't need anything else, this was all you had wished for.

That night was beautiful, you could only call it a lovely Christmas.

a/n: All I can say is that I love this!!! I think I got a little excited and made it too long but I really love this, I know it's very cliché but that's literally the point! I hope you liked it and remember that reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, have a merry Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas, love u, xoxo.

[nurse-floyd]

Lestappen, Lozengers and Lizard Soup?

Word Count: 890

Pairing: Lestappen

Warnings: None

For my dear @biancathecool, thank you so much for the donation sweetheart.

If you’d like a fic or a moodboard, please consider donating to the link in my description, all proceeds are going to surgery for the stray cat I recently took in.

It was just typical that Charles would come down with the flu on the summer break. The constant travelling, long days training and late nights had all caught up with him and weakened his immune system and had made him susceptible to all sorts of bugs.

He’d been absolutely miserable.

It was a miracle Max hadn’t caught whatever had taken the Monegasque down, having spent the past few days leading up to his illness practically on top of the man, sharing the same bed and being his nurse while he’d been laid up in bed.

Max opened the door to their bedroom, seeing the Charles shaped lump bundled under the covers. He made his way further into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed as Charles poked his red and stuffy nose out from the covers. His bedside table was covered in empty wrappers of throat lozenges, cold and flu medicine and used tissues. Being truthful, Max thought the love of his life looked disgusting, not that he’d ever admit that.

Leo was curled up at the bottom of their bed, wagging his tail excitedly at Max’s arrival. He gave the dog a few scratches before he knelt by the head of the bed where the other driver was hiding beneath the covers from the light.

“Okay,” Max began, “I think I’ve raided every pharmacy in Monaco for you and I stopped off and got you some of that soup you like, my cooking will only make you sicker.”

Charles just blinked up at Max as he began unloading the shopping bags. “I grabbed you some more flu medicine but I also couldn’t sleep last night and found a whole article about natural remedies for colds and the flu and thought they could work since you’ve been sick for a few days now.”

Charles didn’t reply, instead releasing a few harsh chesty coughs before groaning.

“Oh, Liefje…” Max cooed as he smoothed back the soft curls from Charles sweaty forehead. “You’re still burning up.”

Max was willing to try anything if it meant Charles wouldn’t be sick for much longer, and at this point Charles was beginning to think the same.

“Okay, so this article said rubbing vapour rub on the soles of your feet before your socks is meant to help with congestion,” he explained as he pulled out a small glass jar. “I also read that stuffing an onion in your socks can help, but that’s just weird and would make the bedroom smell.

“Max…” Charles croaked, but Max was on a roll.

“Eating raw garlic is supposed to also help because it's antibacterial, but I couldn’t kiss you after you’ve been eating that…”

If Charles didn’t already have a headache, he’d find Max’s rambling utterly adorable.

“Max…sweetie,” Charles whispered, “do you know how to look after a sick person?” He snapped the last part a little harsher than he meant to.

“Well…I guess you won’t want any hot chocolate then,” Max replied almost smugly.

Charles squinted back, wondering if there was some sort of catch. “Well…I wouldn’t say no…”

Max held up his index finger, “you said, and I quote, ‘I don’t want to try any weird remedies and just want to sleep’ so I might just have to enjoy a mug all by myself while you sleep,” he teased.

Max wouldn’t hide his smug grin as he saw the pout grow on Charles' face. He reached out a hand and messed his hair a little, “okay. Okay. I’ll get you a mug, but you are taking more of your medicine.”

“You know…you say my remedies are weird, but a study found that cocoa can help suppress coughs more than some medication,” he rattled off as he carried two steaming mugs of hot chocolate into the bedroom. “And the warmth will probably be good for your throat too.”

Max helped Charles to sit up, the covers falling from his bare chest, also glistening with sweat in the glow of the bedside lamps. If it were any other time, the hot chocolate would definitely be abandoned for other activities, but Charles was definitely not in any state.

The pair sat in silence for a moment, each taking sips from their mugs and groaning at the sweet taste. Charles was silent for a moment before he cleared his throat, “so…you can find research on all of that but you didn’t read anywhere that rest, medicine and fluids are best for a cold?”

“I mean…whenever I got sick as a kid I was told to just get over it,” Max shrugged.

Charles hated moments like that, the little jokes from Max about his upbringing, where the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. He vowed to himself the moment they got together, that Max would never be made to feel like that again.

Once they’d finished their mugs, Max placed a kiss on Charles cheek. “No no no,” Charles began to say as Max leant in, “I don’t want you to get sick, Amour!”

“At least I know you’ll take care of me,” Max replied and kissed him again. “If we were in China, you could be eating lizard soup…I think it isn’t any different to chicken noodle. The hot liquid would help with your throat and help replace fluids.”

“I think I’ll stick with the hot chocolate, Amour.”